READ THIS NOW

Um, I have been saving up all of my Iron Man fic recs until I've actually READ all the ones I've bookmarked to read, but this one deserves its own post.

The Value of Secrets by mayatawi. Tony/Jarvis.

"Hey, Decepticon," he said, still staring at the screen. "If I asked you nicely to stop putting your hand up my skirt, would you actually do it?"

"You're not wearing a skirt, sir. Though I do think you could pull one off admirably."

Tony squinted. "Did you just compliment my legs?"

"I wouldn't dream of it. I'm sure your legs are perfectly mediocre."

"Okay, did you just insult my legs? Don't answer that. Nice evasion. Hands off the goods, Jarvis, and I know you don't have hands, and if you pull that pedantic bullshit again I'm turning you into a twelve-year-old girl."

"I would be willing to develop a fondness for unicorns."

Tony scowled at the monitor. "If you had balls, I'd kick you in 'em."

The character voices are what make this one special. Okay, that and it's amazingly hot.

CLAIRA. IT ARRIVED.

Let it be known that stars_like_dust is made of magnificence and sparkly, sparkly evil:



I had never seen anything as aggressively pink in my entire life. But despite the Clairaesque exterior, it contained a multitude of things to delight the hearts of Fahyes.

Including: new episodes of Bones.

I am not going to get any work done at ALL.