READ THIS NOW

[fahye]

Um, I have been saving up all of my Iron Man fic recs until I've actually READ all the ones I've bookmarked to read, but this one deserves its own post.

The Value of Secrets by mayatawi. Tony/Jarvis.

"Hey, Decepticon," he said, still staring at the screen. "If I asked you nicely to stop putting your hand up my skirt, would you actually do it?"

"You're not wearing a skirt, sir. Though I do think you could pull one off admirably."

Tony squinted. "Did you just compliment my legs?"

"I wouldn't dream of it. I'm sure your legs are perfectly mediocre."

"Okay, did you just insult my legs? Don't answer that. Nice evasion. Hands off the goods, Jarvis, and I know you don't have hands, and if you pull that pedantic bullshit again I'm turning you into a twelve-year-old girl."

"I would be willing to develop a fondness for unicorns."

Tony scowled at the monitor. "If you had balls, I'd kick you in 'em."

The character voices are what make this one special. Okay, that and it's amazingly hot.