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19 Dec 2003
the show must go on
19 Dec 2003 10:13 pmJust watched Moulin Rouge for the umpteenth time - I truly, honestly love that movie. Every time I watch it I regret dropping out of my dance troupe - because that's the only thing I've ever really enjoyed doing. People say to go with what you love the most and you'll be happy, but I somehow managed to ignore that the happiest I can ever be is when I'm dancing and pushed it out of my life. Not that I could ever make a career out of it, but I could have taken it so much further than I did.
Following your heart seems easy enough on paper, but I guess my head decided to take charge of my life this time. So I'm left with an almost unbearable jealousy as I watch Roxanne - because I could have spent these last five years doing what I wanted to do most, and I managed to throw it all away by letting my mother talk me out of troupes.
If there's one thing I'm good at, though, it's putting the past behind me. I can't change what I decided, so I'm working myself into depression over nothing. Bad idea.
~
Let's start again. Ali came over today and we couldn't get Photoshop working, but I now have Adobe Premiere to play with and can become an AMV master. Mwaha. I also copied almost half of her pictures folder, with the exception of the Farrell one. Good God, girl, I didn't know that many pictures of ANYONE existed ANYWHERE.
Also, my amazingly huge debt to my mother has been reduced to $9. I am very proud, and am looking forward to actually owning money again.
Following your heart seems easy enough on paper, but I guess my head decided to take charge of my life this time. So I'm left with an almost unbearable jealousy as I watch Roxanne - because I could have spent these last five years doing what I wanted to do most, and I managed to throw it all away by letting my mother talk me out of troupes.
If there's one thing I'm good at, though, it's putting the past behind me. I can't change what I decided, so I'm working myself into depression over nothing. Bad idea.
~
Let's start again. Ali came over today and we couldn't get Photoshop working, but I now have Adobe Premiere to play with and can become an AMV master. Mwaha. I also copied almost half of her pictures folder, with the exception of the Farrell one. Good God, girl, I didn't know that many pictures of ANYONE existed ANYWHERE.
Also, my amazingly huge debt to my mother has been reduced to $9. I am very proud, and am looking forward to actually owning money again.
