the show must go on

[fahye]

Just watched Moulin Rouge for the umpteenth time - I truly, honestly love that movie. Every time I watch it I regret dropping out of my dance troupe - because that's the only thing I've ever really enjoyed doing. People say to go with what you love the most and you'll be happy, but I somehow managed to ignore that the happiest I can ever be is when I'm dancing and pushed it out of my life. Not that I could ever make a career out of it, but I could have taken it so much further than I did.

Following your heart seems easy enough on paper, but I guess my head decided to take charge of my life this time. So I'm left with an almost unbearable jealousy as I watch Roxanne - because I could have spent these last five years doing what I wanted to do most, and I managed to throw it all away by letting my mother talk me out of troupes.

If there's one thing I'm good at, though, it's putting the past behind me. I can't change what I decided, so I'm working myself into depression over nothing. Bad idea.

~

Let's start again. Ali came over today and we couldn't get Photoshop working, but I now have Adobe Premiere to play with and can become an AMV master. Mwaha. I also copied almost half of her pictures folder, with the exception of the Farrell one. Good God, girl, I didn't know that many pictures of ANYONE existed ANYWHERE.

Also, my amazingly huge debt to my mother has been reduced to $9. I am very proud, and am looking forward to actually owning money again.

Comments

[not-in-denial.livejournal.com]

Just because we give things up at some point doesn't mean it has to last forever. I had to stop doing karate when I was 14, and that nearly killed me, frankly, because it was (and still is, oddly) the moments of my life when I am the most capable, the happiest, and honestly believe in myself more than any other time.

Buuuuut, that doesn't mean I'll never do it again. When I'm well again, I'll do karate again. So likewise, when you have the time and money and opportunity again, you can dance again. There's nothing that says it's over forever.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Erin *hugs* That helped a lot.

What I enjoy doing the most now is actually teaching dance, and I'm a but annoyed that I stopped a year away from being qualified as a junior teacher.

it was (and still is, oddly) the moments of my life when I am the most capable, the happiest, and honestly believe in myself more than any other time

*blinks* Dude, you read my mind.

But you're right. There'll be other opportunities.

[not-in-denial.livejournal.com]

:) I'm a mindleech, I'm supposed to read minds ;)

I saw a sign once, and all it said was "When was the last time you knew what you were capable of?" I think most of us with a passion--like dance, or karate--can say that it was during those times. They're a part of us and giving them up forever would be not only incredibly stupid, but also quite impossible, I think ;) *hugs*

[tammaiya.livejournal.com]

God, that's like me and piano. I let MY mum talk me out of it when I was 11, and I've regretted it ever since, because I just feel calm and happy playing. I've been trying to get back into lessons ever since, but mum always says I don't have enough time or she doesn't want me to do another thing involving sitting too much or I won't practise or it costs too much. *sigh* I could probably be in grade 8 by now, if I'd kept it up.