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In. A. Bad. Mood.
4 May 2003 07:11 pmGang Show all day. Learnt a really cool difficult dance but most of the people in it have been miscast and can't do it so it will look bad. Screwed neck doing backwards shoulder rolls, couldn't do any lifts or floorwork because of sprained wrist, ate too much cake and hot chips. Still bloody hungry and craving chocolate and refusing to look in my full-length mirror.
Had short almost-crying attack AGAIN, and I really don't think I can tell the people who want to know what it's about because it'll sound AWFUL and self-centred and incredibly selfish and it concerns them in a way. Listening to "Lost Without You" and have a horrible feeling that I'm going to feel like crying whenever I hear it. Just what I bloody need.
Shit, maybe I am going to cry. All those years of being incapable of crying in public and all I want right now is someone that will just sit there and let me cry to them and maybe hold me and talk to me afterwards. Why do I refuse to enter relationships? Granted, I haven't felt this bad for years, but...I'm so bloody insecure. Damn this stupid song, I'm turning it off before I end up like Yuki with a headache from crying for the first time in 4 years.
( Yes, why the hell not... )
*smiles* My sister just walked in saying "Freya! We have anime on foxtel!" Looks like my family have finally worked out how to use video on demand.
Not sure if I should post this entry as it's the most raw, personal thing I've written in a LONG time but I'm going to anyway. Never let it be said that I hold anything back..
Had short almost-crying attack AGAIN, and I really don't think I can tell the people who want to know what it's about because it'll sound AWFUL and self-centred and incredibly selfish and it concerns them in a way. Listening to "Lost Without You" and have a horrible feeling that I'm going to feel like crying whenever I hear it. Just what I bloody need.
Shit, maybe I am going to cry. All those years of being incapable of crying in public and all I want right now is someone that will just sit there and let me cry to them and maybe hold me and talk to me afterwards. Why do I refuse to enter relationships? Granted, I haven't felt this bad for years, but...I'm so bloody insecure. Damn this stupid song, I'm turning it off before I end up like Yuki with a headache from crying for the first time in 4 years.
( Yes, why the hell not... )
*smiles* My sister just walked in saying "Freya! We have anime on foxtel!" Looks like my family have finally worked out how to use video on demand.
Not sure if I should post this entry as it's the most raw, personal thing I've written in a LONG time but I'm going to anyway. Never let it be said that I hold anything back..