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do this meme! I am ransacking it for gift ideas
The Care and Feeding of Me
1. How can I tell if you're angry?
Usually? I clam up. I don't speak, and if I do, I keep it short. I might leave the room. If you look very very closely, I might be driving my right thumbnail extremely hard into my left palm. That's a BAD SIGN.
Occasionally? The anger goes from zero to furious before I can get a handle on it, and then I might crush your instep. You're probably safe from this unless you are a creepy guy trying to press up against my ass on the bus, in which case, GOODBYE INSTEP.
If I've been under mental and emotional strain for a sustained period of time and THEN I get the zero-to-furious type of anger, I might throw something heavy across the room and scream at you. Don't worry, this has only ever happened once.
2. How should I behave around you if you're angry?
If you think you're the reason I'm angry, then I'm usually pretty receptive to rational talk and questions. If you're not sure, or you've just sort of noticed it peripherally, IGNORE ME. Maybe ask me later when I'm expressing emotions again. If I want to vent in the moment, I'll vent. Otherwise, I want to work through it myself.
3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? How is it best to comfort you?
This really, really depends who you are. I will accept hugs from a few people. If I am in severe distress -- not even them. The greater the hurt, the less likely I am to want physical contact.
Again, I usually respond to rationality; if I can't keep myself calm, I appreciate having someone else around if they're wearing the Vulcan Hat. I also like efforts at distraction, in the form of amusing stories, sweet things, and silly movies. When in doubt, assume I don't want to talk about it.
4. Are there things we should not discuss?
In general...I can keep calm and open to discussion unless you are trying to persuade me that homeopathy is a real thing, in which case I am going to laugh hysterically and rub your face in Dara O'Briain. I have some wee sore spots when it comes to parents with depression and the medical profession as a whole, so if you're going to generalise negatively in those directions, tread carefully. I am not going to put up with anyone talking shit about my family.
5. How should I treat you when you are ill?
I have a catch-22 of illness in that I am a bit more emotionally gloopy, which means I am more likely to appreciate hugs and gifts of soup and sympathy, BUT, I am marginally more likely to cry, and that is not something I do around other people. So if my voice starts to wobble, RUN. Go to the shops. Buy something ridiculous. A pot scourer. I don't care. I may not forgive you if you insist on sticking around and offering me tissues.
There are a couple of people who might not count as Other People in this scenario, but I've never started to cry in front of them so I'm not sure.
6. What makes you happy that's in my power to grant you?
Comments on fic ALWAYS ALWAYS make me happy. Read that fic of mine you delicious-ed as 'to.read' ages ago and have been vaguely putting off, or reread that one you always MEANT to comment on but never got around to. Leave me a comment full of lines you liked and capslock. Ta da! That will put me in a stupidly good mood for at least three hours.
And I am not going to lie, I love presents. Presents are the best fucking idea ever. I love giving them, I love getting them. I like presents for no reason at all, and presents that someone made with three paperclips, and presents with stupid wrapping paper and no cards (man, fuck cards) and edible presents and injoke presents and virtual presents and enormous cardboard boxes full of a million tiny things individually wrapped.
7. How would you like us to recognise your birthday?
If you're in the area, come out for exciting foodstuffs with me! Buy me a drink! I promise, I'm entertaining when I'm pissed. I take my vocabulary out to play and I think I'm HILARIOUS, and I try to show people my heart surgery scar.
If you're not in the area...look, I never remember anyone else's, so I am not exactly going to JUDGE YOU FOREVER if you forget mine. But if you remember, I don't know, find a picture of Kate Winslet or Keeley Hawes looking particularly attractive, and email it to me.
. Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
OH YES INDEED. Standing categories of awesomeness:
- BOOK VOUCHERS. Actually any vouchers. I adore vouchers.
- A book that you want me to read. I promise that my guilt complex drives all gift-books straight to the top of the reading list.
- Jewellery. I will wear almost anything. And frequently do.
- Alcohol.
- Illustrative art for any of my fics, omg.
I don't really believe in unwelcome presents (see above). I will get excited about candles and socks and smelly bath stuff that anyone else would HATE, okay.
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
SUMMER. Do not invite me to the beach. Or the pool. Let me lie inside under the air conditioning with a book, dreaming of autumn and protecting my delicate complexion.
10. Are there important anniversaries in your life?
The only one I ever remember is ANZAC Day, for Milliways-and-Ji related reasons. Other than that, nope.
11. How do I cater for you if you are visiting me?
Plentiful internet access. Plentiful tea. Coffee that is not instant coffee, or at least a helpful recommendation for where I can purchase good espresso. Take me to your bookshelves. And allow for plenty of Quiet Time during which I will be reading, or writing, or staring off into space, and entirely uninterested in taking part in conversations. Just let me be, and eventually I'll emerge in search of biscuits.
12. If I want to contact you, how should I do it?
EMAIL. Or LJ comment/message, which amounts to the same thing.
My mobile phone cries itself to sleep at night, dreaming of belonging to some sixteen-year-old whose thumbs are glued to it, and who doesn't frequently leave it at home charging or simply fail to answer it because she's forgotten it exists. It's thinking of forming a support group for neglected social networking tools, along with my Facebook page.
If it's not urgent, though, I class anything received in the mail under the category of Present (a thing! for me! from someone else!) and adore everything from postcards to fifteen-page treatises on the minutiae of your life.
If I am well and truly AWOL, the person most likely to know my whereabouts is probably![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ryokophoenix.
1. How can I tell if you're angry?
Usually? I clam up. I don't speak, and if I do, I keep it short. I might leave the room. If you look very very closely, I might be driving my right thumbnail extremely hard into my left palm. That's a BAD SIGN.
Occasionally? The anger goes from zero to furious before I can get a handle on it, and then I might crush your instep. You're probably safe from this unless you are a creepy guy trying to press up against my ass on the bus, in which case, GOODBYE INSTEP.
If I've been under mental and emotional strain for a sustained period of time and THEN I get the zero-to-furious type of anger, I might throw something heavy across the room and scream at you. Don't worry, this has only ever happened once.
2. How should I behave around you if you're angry?
If you think you're the reason I'm angry, then I'm usually pretty receptive to rational talk and questions. If you're not sure, or you've just sort of noticed it peripherally, IGNORE ME. Maybe ask me later when I'm expressing emotions again. If I want to vent in the moment, I'll vent. Otherwise, I want to work through it myself.
3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? How is it best to comfort you?
This really, really depends who you are. I will accept hugs from a few people. If I am in severe distress -- not even them. The greater the hurt, the less likely I am to want physical contact.
Again, I usually respond to rationality; if I can't keep myself calm, I appreciate having someone else around if they're wearing the Vulcan Hat. I also like efforts at distraction, in the form of amusing stories, sweet things, and silly movies. When in doubt, assume I don't want to talk about it.
4. Are there things we should not discuss?
In general...I can keep calm and open to discussion unless you are trying to persuade me that homeopathy is a real thing, in which case I am going to laugh hysterically and rub your face in Dara O'Briain. I have some wee sore spots when it comes to parents with depression and the medical profession as a whole, so if you're going to generalise negatively in those directions, tread carefully. I am not going to put up with anyone talking shit about my family.
5. How should I treat you when you are ill?
I have a catch-22 of illness in that I am a bit more emotionally gloopy, which means I am more likely to appreciate hugs and gifts of soup and sympathy, BUT, I am marginally more likely to cry, and that is not something I do around other people. So if my voice starts to wobble, RUN. Go to the shops. Buy something ridiculous. A pot scourer. I don't care. I may not forgive you if you insist on sticking around and offering me tissues.
There are a couple of people who might not count as Other People in this scenario, but I've never started to cry in front of them so I'm not sure.
6. What makes you happy that's in my power to grant you?
Comments on fic ALWAYS ALWAYS make me happy. Read that fic of mine you delicious-ed as 'to.read' ages ago and have been vaguely putting off, or reread that one you always MEANT to comment on but never got around to. Leave me a comment full of lines you liked and capslock. Ta da! That will put me in a stupidly good mood for at least three hours.
And I am not going to lie, I love presents. Presents are the best fucking idea ever. I love giving them, I love getting them. I like presents for no reason at all, and presents that someone made with three paperclips, and presents with stupid wrapping paper and no cards (man, fuck cards) and edible presents and injoke presents and virtual presents and enormous cardboard boxes full of a million tiny things individually wrapped.
7. How would you like us to recognise your birthday?
If you're in the area, come out for exciting foodstuffs with me! Buy me a drink! I promise, I'm entertaining when I'm pissed. I take my vocabulary out to play and I think I'm HILARIOUS, and I try to show people my heart surgery scar.
If you're not in the area...look, I never remember anyone else's, so I am not exactly going to JUDGE YOU FOREVER if you forget mine. But if you remember, I don't know, find a picture of Kate Winslet or Keeley Hawes looking particularly attractive, and email it to me.
. Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
OH YES INDEED. Standing categories of awesomeness:
- BOOK VOUCHERS. Actually any vouchers. I adore vouchers.
- A book that you want me to read. I promise that my guilt complex drives all gift-books straight to the top of the reading list.
- Jewellery. I will wear almost anything. And frequently do.
- Alcohol.
- Illustrative art for any of my fics, omg.
I don't really believe in unwelcome presents (see above). I will get excited about candles and socks and smelly bath stuff that anyone else would HATE, okay.
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
SUMMER. Do not invite me to the beach. Or the pool. Let me lie inside under the air conditioning with a book, dreaming of autumn and protecting my delicate complexion.
10. Are there important anniversaries in your life?
The only one I ever remember is ANZAC Day, for Milliways-and-Ji related reasons. Other than that, nope.
11. How do I cater for you if you are visiting me?
Plentiful internet access. Plentiful tea. Coffee that is not instant coffee, or at least a helpful recommendation for where I can purchase good espresso. Take me to your bookshelves. And allow for plenty of Quiet Time during which I will be reading, or writing, or staring off into space, and entirely uninterested in taking part in conversations. Just let me be, and eventually I'll emerge in search of biscuits.
12. If I want to contact you, how should I do it?
EMAIL. Or LJ comment/message, which amounts to the same thing.
My mobile phone cries itself to sleep at night, dreaming of belonging to some sixteen-year-old whose thumbs are glued to it, and who doesn't frequently leave it at home charging or simply fail to answer it because she's forgotten it exists. It's thinking of forming a support group for neglected social networking tools, along with my Facebook page.
If it's not urgent, though, I class anything received in the mail under the category of Present (a thing! for me! from someone else!) and adore everything from postcards to fifteen-page treatises on the minutiae of your life.
If I am well and truly AWOL, the person most likely to know my whereabouts is probably
ryokophoenix.
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Wait, I don't need to send you all of my LJ posts any more? :DDDD
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Oooooh. When are you back?
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This meme is really interesting. It's the kind of things that you really feel like you should know about your friends, only there's still surprises. I mean, not a lot, but I lol'd at "do not invite me to the beach" UH SORRY. XD
ALSO
TEXT ME IN THE MORNING TO MAKE SURE I'VE LEFT YOUR KEY BEHIND? I should't forget, but you never know. :S
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