fahye: ([ff] for the beauty of each hour)
Fahye ([personal profile] fahye) wrote2009-05-24 08:50 pm

bittersweet

It's not often (almost never, in fact) that I cast a glance at what I'm doing with my life and think that I might be happier doing something else.

But I'm spending this evening immersed in a world that I created, with characters who came from somewhere inside of me but are acquiring dimensions and voices entirely of their own accord. Putting words next to one another and revelling in the patterns that result. Nothing else compares to this -- whenever I'm doing it it's grudgingly sublime, whenever I'm not doing it there's a part of me that wishes I was, right now, this moment, all moments, always.

It's entirely true that I would rather be a full-time writer than anything else.

It is, sadly, just as true that I don't have any faith in my ability to achieve this.

(So what's a concurrent life plan that allows me a lot of free time in which to practice the thing I enjoy the most? I KNOW: MED SCHOOL.

OH WAIT.

Ha.)

[identity profile] girl-wonder.livejournal.com 2009-05-24 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
EEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Plus, the world you created? AWESOME.
ext_21673: ([ff] mortal engines)

[identity profile] fahye.livejournal.com 2009-05-24 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Eeeee? I'm confused.

[identity profile] girl-wonder.livejournal.com 2009-05-24 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
It is the noise of excitement. Much like the sound of the dogs at the gates of hell, I'm told.

[identity profile] lilith-lessfair.livejournal.com 2009-05-24 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey there lovely lady,

You've my sympathies on the juggling of your two different passions.

Trying to arrive at something that isn't terribly trite, I'll likely fail. But, think, whether you do decide to write full time (and you don't have to decide to do it now) or whether you use it as another way of fulfilling yourself while you are a doctor, you are a very lucky woman to have found something that you enjoy so very much and do so very well.
You could also be the Wallace Stevens of medicine. Better, maybe, in that you can write gorgeous prose and poetry and also be fulfilled as a doctor (I doubt he found life as an insurance exec that fulfilling.), if that's what you choose.

Also agree with fryadvocate, it's a beautiful, terrible world you've created in the eyaiverse.
Edited 2009-05-24 16:51 (UTC)
ext_21673: ([im] planes of existence)

[identity profile] fahye.livejournal.com 2009-05-24 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I had to Google Wallace Stevens :) It's a heartening thought, the idea that I can produce things gradually throughout my life, but I am currently going through an itchy-impatient stage! I get like that whenever my ideas start to be produced faster than I have any hope of recording them.

Thanks.

[identity profile] dr-biscuit.livejournal.com 2009-05-24 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Also, I offer William Carlos Williams as an example of medic/writer.


[identity profile] lilith-lessfair.livejournal.com 2009-05-25 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, yes, the perfect example.

Love this one ...

from "The Right of Way" by William Carlos Williams

In passing with my mind
on nothing in the world

but the right of way
I enjoy on the road by

virtue of the law ---
I saw

an elderly man who
smiled and looked away

to the north past a house --
a woman in blue

who was laughing and leaning forward to look up

into the man's half
averted face


[identity profile] kcdl.livejournal.com 2009-05-25 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
Who needs talent, all you need is a fan base and publisher. *cough* Stephenie Meyer *cough*. You do have talent though, so even better.

If Michael Chrichton can do it so why can't you?