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last lines meme
Remember the first lines meme? This one suits me better; I pay more attention to my last lines than my first ones, usually.
Ji wanted me to do this a couple of days ago and I didn't because I am clearly not yet trained enough in fulfilling her every whim!
Most recent fifteen fics only, in the name of not going on and on and on and on and on and on.
1) "In the meantime, my lord Caspian, I think I saw some new mountains just beyond the edge of Ettinsmuir. Do you feel up to an adventure?"
2) There is no expression on Mai's face as she leaves.
3) Sasuke turns his face into the wind, casts a glance at the fading stars, and sets out in the direction of home.
4) "Right," and the Doctor slides his hand into the Master's in a single smooth movement, throws him a wild grin, and tightens his grip. "Run!"
5) They race up the periodic table leaving clouds of probability in their wake.
6) "I don't know," Sasuke says aloud. His dark, considering gaze slides over her, to Naruto, and back. "Ask me again in five minutes."
7) He keeps watch until the sun rises.
8) "Mm," Sasuke says in a considering tone, "all right," and Naruto bites the inside of his own cheek so hard he tastes blood.
9) Sasuke smiles.
10) He says, "It's just what you've always wanted."
11) She watches him fade away and she says, "But sometimes that's just an excuse not to try."
12) Mai condenses her world to the faint tremors building in the earth and the steady pressure of Zuko's fingers around hers, and begins to count to ten.
13) I close the door in his face and step out into a morning too bright for martyrs.
14) One empire undresses another.
15) Tomorrow she picks up a scalpel.
~
Depressingly, a lot of these don't seem very punchy at all, but they tie in with/conclude a running theme or repeated phrase in the fic. So you just have to trust me when I tell you that they are all perfect cherries atop delicious literary masterpieces. Or something.
Ji wanted me to do this a couple of days ago and I didn't because I am clearly not yet trained enough in fulfilling her every whim!
Most recent fifteen fics only, in the name of not going on and on and on and on and on and on.
1) "In the meantime, my lord Caspian, I think I saw some new mountains just beyond the edge of Ettinsmuir. Do you feel up to an adventure?"
2) There is no expression on Mai's face as she leaves.
3) Sasuke turns his face into the wind, casts a glance at the fading stars, and sets out in the direction of home.
4) "Right," and the Doctor slides his hand into the Master's in a single smooth movement, throws him a wild grin, and tightens his grip. "Run!"
5) They race up the periodic table leaving clouds of probability in their wake.
6) "I don't know," Sasuke says aloud. His dark, considering gaze slides over her, to Naruto, and back. "Ask me again in five minutes."
7) He keeps watch until the sun rises.
8) "Mm," Sasuke says in a considering tone, "all right," and Naruto bites the inside of his own cheek so hard he tastes blood.
9) Sasuke smiles.
10) He says, "It's just what you've always wanted."
11) She watches him fade away and she says, "But sometimes that's just an excuse not to try."
12) Mai condenses her world to the faint tremors building in the earth and the steady pressure of Zuko's fingers around hers, and begins to count to ten.
13) I close the door in his face and step out into a morning too bright for martyrs.
14) One empire undresses another.
15) Tomorrow she picks up a scalpel.
~
Depressingly, a lot of these don't seem very punchy at all, but they tie in with/conclude a running theme or repeated phrase in the fic. So you just have to trust me when I tell you that they are all perfect cherries atop delicious literary masterpieces. Or something.
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They race up the periodic table leaving clouds of probability in their wake makes me gibber with joy.
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WHY ARE YOU NOT ONLIIIIINE.
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I AM SORRY I WAS AT DINNER. Now I must do homework & also none of my gmail services are working, no idea why. I WILL CATCH YOU LATER. <333
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1. past tense: 0; present tense: 14; future tense (are you PSYCHO, miss Fahye?): 1
(I repeat: you and the present tense need to see other people.)
2. first person: 1; third person: 14; second person: 0 (?!)
3. include dialogue: 6/15
4. Oddly (?), given your propensity for long-winded opening lines, your closing lines rarely so much as include a comma.
5. Similarly, given that thing I talked about (http://fahye.livejournal.com/551783.html) with your usually cramming a bunch of stuff in front of the subject in opening lines ... you do that almost not at all in closing lines.
In conclusion, you are a great and clever writer, but might want to force yourself out of the third person/present tense ... like ... once? I've gone and looked at your future Milliways thing you're playing with and it is the same way.