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not in a bottle
This could be an EXCEEDINGLY bad idea considering that I'm teetering on the bitchy side of pre-menstrual at the moment, but I've been meaning to do that unlabelled-messages meme for a while. These are for people to whom I have something to say at the moment, which is quite a small percentage; yes, I had someone specific in mind for each one, but a lot of them could really apply to a lot of people.
Plus, this is a fun meme for intriguing voyeurism, right? Right.
(You're welcome to make guesses or comments if you think one's for you! Or not. I don't mind.)
1) Part of me feels guilty when we fall out of touch for short periods, but most of me is very glad that we never have any trouble picking everything up again, and that we click so effortlessly. If I had to pick one person in the universe to be my housemate, it'd be you :)
2) The fact that I never have time to chat with you & get to know you better makes me absolutely furious sometimes, because I love how our brains work together. I love that the internet allows me to meet people like you, but I hate the restlessness that I get from having to be content with emails and comments. There are some people who I am completely happy to know just as online friends, but you're not one of them: I think we'd get along fabulously in real life.
3) One of the things that keeps me feeling emotionally valuable (and often there aren't many of those) is the fact that I'm your go-to person for problems of the emotional or social kind (to the extent that either of us are given to exclosure, which isn't heaps). I feel like we only started to know each other properly this year, but I really love that we understand each other on a very basic level. You're one of the few people I would drop everything for.
4) You make me feel that I should be examining the things I read/watch more critically, that I should know more about bias and gender politics, and that my tastes should be more discerning. These aren't bad things. Just little pinches of guilt sometimes.
5) It's been years now and I admire you more than ever, but I feel less confident that you consider me to be in any way entertaining/talented/worth talking to. This is unfair and irrational of me, but I can't shake the conviction.
6) To a group of people: I respect and like you all enormously, and I love that LJ lets me keep track of your lives when I don't have the time to keep in touch, but sometimes I just want to beat my fists against your chests and growl in selfish, ugly, nonsensical jealousy at how easy it is for you to hop on planes and attend concerts and build friendships in real time and in real proximity.
7) I feel weird talking about you (automatically) as my best friend and then having to add that you live on the other side of the world. It seems implausible that this should be as easy as it is, even when it's less easy and more the good kind of challenging, and that I should have managed to build a friendship this profound; when I first met you I wouldn't have thought myself capable of it. I think that you're a much, much better person than I am and I think that you don't mind that, and it makes me happy to know that you exist.
8) I am constantly amused by the large differences in our situations & opinions & contexts, especially in light of how much enjoyment I get when we effortlessly connect about certain things. Your life seems simultaneously wonderfully held-together and constantly on the verge of falling apart, and I'm not sure how you manage it, but I hope to one day find as much satisfaction as you do in doing a job well.
9) For someone who proclaims personal insecurity, you seem to have quite a knack for absorbing compliments gracefully but shrugging off (albeit violently!) anyone's negative opinion of you. I will never be able to care as little as you do about some things, or formulate opinions as fierce as yours about other things, and I envy you that. Sometimes your bluntness clashes directly with my often overwhelming need to be obtuse/not follow explicit directions, and I end up not commenting when I might otherwise have done so. This isn't really personal, though.
10) You have a amazing capacity for uncomplicated enjoyment. It's often a little odd to watch, but kind of therapeutic as well. Like really good children's television.
11) I wish there was a non-presumptive way to tell you that I still like you a lot and always enjoy your posts and would really like to meet you one day -- I feel that because I'm no longer chatting to you regularly or conversing with you about fic & fandom, you feel that I've let you down, and you seem to have enough of that crap in your life without me unwittingly adding to it.
12) It probably says something that even though our fandom interests have diverged almost entirely, I can't remove you from my friends list because a) I DO consider you a friend, and b) even when your joy is directed at something I know nothing about, it has an element of the infectious about it. I wish we could connect over something again. But I'm content to know you're having a good life.
13) You are worth at least 84783447 times more than you think you are, and watching your ups and downs can be very frustrating. Also, I think you're a better writer than I am; not in all aspects, but in a lot of important ones.
14) Weirdly, I feel like I know little bits of you very well, but large bits of you not at all. I'd like to go out for coffee with you and lie on rugs letting you play music at me and a lot of other annoyingly real-life things, and I'd like to create something with you because you seem to have a real knack for collaboration.
15) Man, sometimes I'll wonder how the hell you found me in the enormous virtual space of fandom and why you were instantly so nice to me, and then you'll say something hugely dorky and/or perverted and I'll get over it :D I like that you don't let my habit of short/abandoned conversations stop you from pinging me, and I'm always glad to hear from you.
16) You're one of the two people I secretly consider to be my older sisters, even though one of the things that I like about spending time with you is how you treat me as a complete intellectual equal (despite the fact that many things about you/your life make me feel immature sometimes). What I really like about our friendship is my conviction that it will last, even if we end up on opposite sides of the globe. You make me want to strive for high things and to never compromise my personal priorities.
Plus, this is a fun meme for intriguing voyeurism, right? Right.
(You're welcome to make guesses or comments if you think one's for you! Or not. I don't mind.)
1) Part of me feels guilty when we fall out of touch for short periods, but most of me is very glad that we never have any trouble picking everything up again, and that we click so effortlessly. If I had to pick one person in the universe to be my housemate, it'd be you :)
2) The fact that I never have time to chat with you & get to know you better makes me absolutely furious sometimes, because I love how our brains work together. I love that the internet allows me to meet people like you, but I hate the restlessness that I get from having to be content with emails and comments. There are some people who I am completely happy to know just as online friends, but you're not one of them: I think we'd get along fabulously in real life.
3) One of the things that keeps me feeling emotionally valuable (and often there aren't many of those) is the fact that I'm your go-to person for problems of the emotional or social kind (to the extent that either of us are given to exclosure, which isn't heaps). I feel like we only started to know each other properly this year, but I really love that we understand each other on a very basic level. You're one of the few people I would drop everything for.
4) You make me feel that I should be examining the things I read/watch more critically, that I should know more about bias and gender politics, and that my tastes should be more discerning. These aren't bad things. Just little pinches of guilt sometimes.
5) It's been years now and I admire you more than ever, but I feel less confident that you consider me to be in any way entertaining/talented/worth talking to. This is unfair and irrational of me, but I can't shake the conviction.
6) To a group of people: I respect and like you all enormously, and I love that LJ lets me keep track of your lives when I don't have the time to keep in touch, but sometimes I just want to beat my fists against your chests and growl in selfish, ugly, nonsensical jealousy at how easy it is for you to hop on planes and attend concerts and build friendships in real time and in real proximity.
7) I feel weird talking about you (automatically) as my best friend and then having to add that you live on the other side of the world. It seems implausible that this should be as easy as it is, even when it's less easy and more the good kind of challenging, and that I should have managed to build a friendship this profound; when I first met you I wouldn't have thought myself capable of it. I think that you're a much, much better person than I am and I think that you don't mind that, and it makes me happy to know that you exist.
8) I am constantly amused by the large differences in our situations & opinions & contexts, especially in light of how much enjoyment I get when we effortlessly connect about certain things. Your life seems simultaneously wonderfully held-together and constantly on the verge of falling apart, and I'm not sure how you manage it, but I hope to one day find as much satisfaction as you do in doing a job well.
9) For someone who proclaims personal insecurity, you seem to have quite a knack for absorbing compliments gracefully but shrugging off (albeit violently!) anyone's negative opinion of you. I will never be able to care as little as you do about some things, or formulate opinions as fierce as yours about other things, and I envy you that. Sometimes your bluntness clashes directly with my often overwhelming need to be obtuse/not follow explicit directions, and I end up not commenting when I might otherwise have done so. This isn't really personal, though.
10) You have a amazing capacity for uncomplicated enjoyment. It's often a little odd to watch, but kind of therapeutic as well. Like really good children's television.
11) I wish there was a non-presumptive way to tell you that I still like you a lot and always enjoy your posts and would really like to meet you one day -- I feel that because I'm no longer chatting to you regularly or conversing with you about fic & fandom, you feel that I've let you down, and you seem to have enough of that crap in your life without me unwittingly adding to it.
12) It probably says something that even though our fandom interests have diverged almost entirely, I can't remove you from my friends list because a) I DO consider you a friend, and b) even when your joy is directed at something I know nothing about, it has an element of the infectious about it. I wish we could connect over something again. But I'm content to know you're having a good life.
13) You are worth at least 84783447 times more than you think you are, and watching your ups and downs can be very frustrating. Also, I think you're a better writer than I am; not in all aspects, but in a lot of important ones.
14) Weirdly, I feel like I know little bits of you very well, but large bits of you not at all. I'd like to go out for coffee with you and lie on rugs letting you play music at me and a lot of other annoyingly real-life things, and I'd like to create something with you because you seem to have a real knack for collaboration.
15) Man, sometimes I'll wonder how the hell you found me in the enormous virtual space of fandom and why you were instantly so nice to me, and then you'll say something hugely dorky and/or perverted and I'll get over it :D I like that you don't let my habit of short/abandoned conversations stop you from pinging me, and I'm always glad to hear from you.
16) You're one of the two people I secretly consider to be my older sisters, even though one of the things that I like about spending time with you is how you treat me as a complete intellectual equal (despite the fact that many things about you/your life make me feel immature sometimes). What I really like about our friendship is my conviction that it will last, even if we end up on opposite sides of the globe. You make me want to strive for high things and to never compromise my personal priorities.
no subject
I wish I could be states-wise again! Unfortunately the closest I'll be coming in the forseeable future is...Ireland? :D Not exactly a stone's throw, is it.