THIS ICON EXPRESSES MY FEELINGS PERFECTLY

[fahye]

Just went to a College-hosted combined birthday party and had a great time, apart from the fact that ryokophoenix & another College girl and I got into a discussion with one of the guys there, who decided to spend an hour mansplaining to us about how all Australian women are indoctrinated into liberalism (he's Greek), and he prefers feminine women who pay attention to how they look, and our funny little opinions were okay now but just wait ten years and we would want a stable relationship with a husband and BABIES (the fact that both Mel and I admitted upfront that we're kind of pro-children now was ignored). He believes in biological imperative. He believes that his opinions are FACT and ours are just culturally imposed brainwashing and/or will be null and void as soon as our biological clock kicks in. He believes that if we continue to hold these views about men then we will end up alone and surrounded by cats, or else the poor, poor men we end up with will be more emasculated than him. He called us naive, and idealistic, and claimed that having lived in four countries gave him the right to generalise. He finished up by telling us that he was looking forward to going back to International House (his college) and -- DIRECT QUOTE -- all my Japanese and Korean and Chinese girls, who will treat me much better than you guys have, because they're more feminine.

(As a crowning triumph, he also uttered the words YELLOW FEVER in relation to himself. Yeah.)

And then he acted surprised when he said 'Wait, you think I am racist and sexist?' and we said UM. HELL YES.

I am so upset, because arguing with him was impossible, and it was the very first time in a long time that I've spoken to someone and come to the realisation that they believed me to be inferior to them, and wrong, and an object of ridicule.

I'm very lucky. I have a hell of a lot of privilege in a lot of areas and I spend most of my time surrounded by people who wouldn't think to express any kind of sentiment degrading women and who are perfectly accepting of my sexuality. I have quite honestly never come across this kind of concentratedly misogynistic opinion in real life, though obviously I wasn't unaware that people hold them.

And yes, it was exhausting, and infuriating, and I don't want the world to be this way.

For those of you who have to put up with this, or similar brick-wall mentalities in other areas, on a constant basis: I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how wearing that is.

Comments

[the-grynne.livejournal.com]

all my Japanese and Korean and Chinese girls, who will treat me much better than you guys have, because they're more feminine.

:| Let me at him, I'll treat him to MY TEETH.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

BE MY GUEST

(Oh! I never replied to your text ages ago, but I would very much like to meet up and nab A Conspiracy of Kings off you. I am currently shoving the other two books at Mel, so you can't have them back yet :D You want to choose the restaurant this time?)

[the-grynne.livejournal.com]

The only amusing thought is that I'm sure the feminine/submissive Asian girls are fetishising him to the same degree that he is them.

(Sure. Is it Wednesdays or Friday nights you have free? And how do you feel about Vietnamese? I've been wanting to try Pho 236 on King St. Oh, and tell Mel to take her time.)

[fahye.livejournal.com]

(Fridays! And ooh, yes, I've only ever been to Tre Viet so far so it'd be nice to add another place to my list.)

[toujin1.livejournal.com]

Douche, but the fact that you don't often come across assholes like him make you damn lucky in my eyes. For some reason, I get into a similar argument with one overcompensating asshole or another on average of once every three months or so >.>
Nothing they say really surprises me anymore :D

[fahye.livejournal.com]

God, I know, I was standing there thinking how has it taken me this long to get into an argument like this?

[jadengreen36.livejournal.com]

"mansplaining"

I haven't heard that one before, have to use it. That's a good one.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

The best definition of it is here (http://karenhealey.livejournal.com/781085.html).

[amayonolune.livejournal.com]

Man this topic.
As you know (and had rubbed in your face with a metal plate) Japan is relatively backwards in ways of female rights grr.
I wish to rant, but I will leave it at that.

I would like to say I am happy that you added to the "women that are too liberal for him" quota in his life. One day (hopefully soon) that will become a majority and he may even self-reflect and re-toggle his expectations.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he did express a wish to go back to Greece and marry a six-foot-tall Russian girl who 'pays attention to how she looks' and hasn't been 'culturally tainted by liberalism'.

So.

Let's hoping he accelerates his departure.

[lizardspots.livejournal.com]

My god, what a waste of space loser.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

He also spent some time fetishising Muslim women for being (although he never said it in so many words) sweet and passive.

I did not resort to violence! I am proud.

[armyofone.livejournal.com]

I never understood how men who are genetically predisposed to enough body hair to last an ice age naked could be misogynistic.

[be-themoon.livejournal.com]

that SUCKS. *shudders*

[-leareth.livejournal.com]

all my Japanese and Korean and Chinese girls, who will treat me much better than you guys have, because they're more feminine

As a Chinese female, I'd love to go to a party dressed up in something pretty and in heels and meet this guy.

[tammaiya.livejournal.com]

...Ugh. I've got into that kind of argument before - more on sexuality than gender, I think - and it's always just so frustrating and infuriating and you really just want to smack the asshole in the face for their sheer and utter belief in their *rightness* while they're being a total douchebag.

I'm sorry your party had to be ruined by something like that. D: