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I hate fandoms
Okay. Not hate. Will love them again tomorrow, I'm sure. But for now, I am incredibly depressed and disillusioned with myself because I made the mistake of surfing the LJs, sites and fics of the YnM Fandom Queens, those who have been in the fandom FOREVER and know everything and have HTML SKILLZ and archives and beta-groups, for far too long. Opened my eyes to a few facts:
* Everyone but me can DRAW, goddammit! Fanart galore. I can't even make something look good when it's original, let alon COPYING something. I refuse to practice because I have to look at my own shit. I realise that this is my fault and no-one else's. Yes, I'm whinging. Sorry.
* Everyone knows each other and has for ages. Actually, I think I'll take this point back because it's immature and silly and the YnM fandom is probably GOOD because it's so (comparitively) small. But it's also tightknit and while I've been game to add a few people as friends I can't exactly impose myself on huge amounts of people at once without feeling stupid and like an intruder. Problem being, of course, that everyone is so bloody nice and intelligent and INTERESTING PEOPLE! Would be kind of easier if I could HATE THEM ALL and, you know, flame their fics anonymously and write scathing reviews on their sites. But then, I wouldn't want to join the fandom UNLESS it was run by nice people. I'm talking in circles, aren't I? I'll move on now.
* The clincher. I am reaching the unpleasant conclusion that I have no idea what I'm talking about. Overconsumption of fanfics has blended fanon with canon in my mind, especially when I'm missing half the episodes and I've never looked at the manga in my life. I lack experience, proper knowledge, practice, and the only thing I have going for me as far as originality goes is that I write Tsuzuki's POV, which is rare. Fucking yay for me. An actual ability to write isn't going to get me very far when I'm just found out I'm bullshitting through my teeth.
The only ray of hope I see at the moment is the fact that the YnM fandom doesn't have a ficbitch. I'd be bloody DECIMATED.
...I think I'll go and depress myself futher by reading episode summaries for the rest of the bloody Devil's Trill. I NEED to find out about those damn wings, because part of Shields looks suspiciously like it's about to become invalid. I hate that stupid demon whose name I can't spell.
*rereads entry and winces* Ouch. I think I may have severely offended some of my wonderful new friends and possibly pissed off everyone who ever knew me EVER with my childish whinging. Tomorrow, or possibly later tonight, we return to your regularly scheduled egotistical Freya, complete with "HAHA! SHIELDS IS SO COOL! I LOVEXORS EVERYONE! I HAVE LOVELY YAMI FRIENDS!"
In the meantime, maybe people would like to review TNIAY for a while and cheer me up? TINK? MEL? *glares*
* Everyone but me can DRAW, goddammit! Fanart galore. I can't even make something look good when it's original, let alon COPYING something. I refuse to practice because I have to look at my own shit. I realise that this is my fault and no-one else's. Yes, I'm whinging. Sorry.
* Everyone knows each other and has for ages. Actually, I think I'll take this point back because it's immature and silly and the YnM fandom is probably GOOD because it's so (comparitively) small. But it's also tightknit and while I've been game to add a few people as friends I can't exactly impose myself on huge amounts of people at once without feeling stupid and like an intruder. Problem being, of course, that everyone is so bloody nice and intelligent and INTERESTING PEOPLE! Would be kind of easier if I could HATE THEM ALL and, you know, flame their fics anonymously and write scathing reviews on their sites. But then, I wouldn't want to join the fandom UNLESS it was run by nice people. I'm talking in circles, aren't I? I'll move on now.
* The clincher. I am reaching the unpleasant conclusion that I have no idea what I'm talking about. Overconsumption of fanfics has blended fanon with canon in my mind, especially when I'm missing half the episodes and I've never looked at the manga in my life. I lack experience, proper knowledge, practice, and the only thing I have going for me as far as originality goes is that I write Tsuzuki's POV, which is rare. Fucking yay for me. An actual ability to write isn't going to get me very far when I'm just found out I'm bullshitting through my teeth.
The only ray of hope I see at the moment is the fact that the YnM fandom doesn't have a ficbitch. I'd be bloody DECIMATED.
...I think I'll go and depress myself futher by reading episode summaries for the rest of the bloody Devil's Trill. I NEED to find out about those damn wings, because part of Shields looks suspiciously like it's about to become invalid. I hate that stupid demon whose name I can't spell.
*rereads entry and winces* Ouch. I think I may have severely offended some of my wonderful new friends and possibly pissed off everyone who ever knew me EVER with my childish whinging. Tomorrow, or possibly later tonight, we return to your regularly scheduled egotistical Freya, complete with "HAHA! SHIELDS IS SO COOL! I LOVEXORS EVERYONE! I HAVE LOVELY YAMI FRIENDS!"
In the meantime, maybe people would like to review TNIAY for a while and cheer me up? TINK? MEL? *glares*
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Oh and...INTRUDE ON ME! INTRUDE ON ME! *flaps arms* Wait, I'm not an interesting and intelligent person. Oh. Well. Shit. Um. Intrude on me anyway? XD
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SANKYUU ERIN-CHAN!
And now for the horrible confession: I've only seen the first 5 eps and the last 2. *ducks flying tomatoes* And on those (plus hideous amounts of fics/shrines/essays/summaries) I base my entire hugely obsessive fangirlness and a very indepth fic. Pathetic, ne? I *own* no episodes and no manga. Just a character book and a poster. *hides in shame*
We ordered the series from UC anime club but the guy didn't give it to us. I think he wants Tsuzuki for himself. Grrr.
I SHALL INTRUDE! WATCH ME! (you're going to regret this...) First things first, I shall gack tai's phone number off a mutual friend and we shall organise something which involves me stealing episodes off you and offering my character book for you to peruse as small recompense. Or possibly I shall email you, which might be easier. Eheh. Clever Fahye.
Oh yes, advice from a wiser person needed here: THE WINGS. Okay. They appear when Surgatanus takes over Tsuzuki, but is there any reference to them later? Because I'm using them in my fic as further proof of his demon heritage - ie. Surgatanus was simply the catalyst for their release - and he might actually be able to grow them again. This could either be stunningly original, vaguely canon, or utter bullshit based entirely on my wings fetish. Want to tell me which? ^.^;;
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We need to meet. (Don't worry about you missing eps, Erin will come and rescue you. She rescued me, as I was surfing round with only three eps under my belt. But then again....I had read a heap of the manga....but then again...okay, shutting up.)
If you want, I can email you with my phone number. Yay or nay. <3
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Right. Will email both of you RIGHT NOW and thus avoid doing my physics homework. *applauds tai for getting hers DONE*
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*whispers*
I've had all weekend to do it. And only bothered doing it tonight cos its kinda due tomorrow.
XD
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I do that a lot. My physics isn't due til thursday so I can ignore it happily.
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I shall burn YnM for you, yuppers. *nods* Email is good, just make sure it's to my littlevornskr@hotmail.com account XD~
The wings never came back after Devil's Thrill. Do what you like with them o.o Actually, that sounds like a good fic basis to me. So stunningly original sounds good to me. XD
Did I answer everything? *braindead* I should be expected to be coherent in the evenings....
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Wings are good? Eeeeeeexcellent... *cackles*
Emails for you and Tai coming soonish!
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Is it possible for you to get the US DVDs of Yami?
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I haven't been in the YnM fandom long, and am kinda scared of posting my art up in communities. Got a sour taste in my mouth when the first art I posted got severely artbitched. Then got me on a drawing low for a week. Baaad first impression. So, in the YnM fandom I lurk. And read. And make Erin by me lunch every now and then.
And I lurk very very badly. XD
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Fanart - Oh, I can't draw as well. :D I don't have the talent for it. >.<;; So I try to make it up for my pathetic attempts at writing sappy romance. :X
Hmmm, I can say I'm relatively new to the fandom (Got in the anime/manga in Janurary and got active into the fandom in March), and... the Yami fandom, overall is HUGE. Mailing list has well over 1000 members on Yahoo alone. O_o;; Trust me, there's MORE people out there in the Yami fandom besides the people on LJ, a LOT more.
It's just most people on LJ here are fanfic writers/artists. So I think people who don't write or draw just feel... lost when it comes to the fandom. Yay for me being an observer. ;;>.>
I haven't known many people that long, maybe a few months tops. :X I think the person I've known the longest in the Yami fandom is, sadly, my irl sister, and she's been in the fandom a LOT longer than me, over 2 years.
Close knitted? Well, I'd have to disagree somewhat. Most people just tend to stick with their friends in a group. I think one of the problems is that a lot of us are rather shy and rarely open up to others. I know I'm guilty of that. ^_^;;
Oh, I don't know if you know this, but if you want to read a translation to the manga, you can find all the information here (http://theria.net/yaminomatsuei/).
Bleh, I think I bored you enough with my pointless drivel. ^_^;;
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Thanks for advice and things :) I've deciced the best thing may be just to put obnoxious amounts of comments on EVERYONE's LJs and add everyone as friends until they either notice my existence or push me out of the fandom. Worth a shot.
...hey, I lurked for ages without joining anything at all.