self-inflicted

[fahye]

I always forget how completely incapable I am of writing anything much stronger than kissing until I try it and end up sullenly pouring red wine down my throat and prodding my keyboard with a maudlin expression in the hope that, I don't know, the porn fairy will appear and take pity on my liver.

Seriously, you guys, my firstborn for the ability to spin straw into porn.

Why do I convince myself that This Time I Will Manage It? Why do I sign up to do collabs with filthy-minded* people? These are the questions I ask myself.

(UM, ILU LIZARD <33 DON'T KILL ME. MUCH.)


*Let's be honest here, my mind is as filthy as that of the next person who has been in fandom for seven years, I am just in possession of far too many mind-to-fingers filters.

Comments

[ryokophoenix.livejournal.com]

Fuck it, down the bottle.





What? It's not like you do it often.

:P

[fahye.livejournal.com]

HAHAH NICE TO SEE YOU HAVE MY BEST INTERESTS AT HEART, SWEETIE.

Alas, I think the bottle is gone, as it was being shared with my parents.

[ryokophoenix.livejournal.com]

My statements in no way reflect my perspective as a psychologist.

(which would be something like, you're not as familiar with writing porn as you are with writing other things, nor have you had as much external feedback to validate your abilities in the area. Everything you have written was whilst drunk, which means you have no confidence in your ability to do it sober. Which means you second-guess yourself, which means you worry about what others will think, which means you overthink every line, which means you rewrite it all a thousand times, which means it doesn't feel like it comes naturally, which feels like writers block. Which means: exposure therapy. Stay completely sober, crash something out NaNoWriMo-style, throw it up without thinking about it and see how it goes. Alternatively, use hierarchical exposure - write something under a puppet journal first, see how that goes, then do the above when you have some feedback and are feeling more confident.)

I mean. You know, whatever.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

+ the fact that using genital nouns makes me turn pink and come over all Victorian and prudish, but ... yeah :)

Actually, that gives me an idea for something I might try in the name of exposure. Excellent.





(You have NO IDEA how much I still love the fact that that is your psychologist icon.)

[ryokophoenix.livejournal.com]

COCK.

That icon is my future, there is no point in denying it. Although, we are going to have words about your Twilight icon, my dear.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

EXCUSE ME, I like to think that the mere existence of that icon keeps SMeyer's weird anti-feminine-sexuality self awake nights, despairing of the sinful internet.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

I suggest drabbles. 100 words. Nothing BUT porn. Possibly with a rotating list of genital nouns which *must* be used. Possibly even banged out in five or ten-minute blocks, Write Or Die style.

[sainfoin-fields.livejournal.com]

Last week I wrote 1600+ words of porn while a) so nauseated I literally could not hold my head in any other position without feeling I was about to dissolve into a puddle of sick, and b) so tired I had lost all sense of shame, style, or self editing. I have yet to look at it with sane eyes and when I do I expect it to be dreadful, but at least it exists.

So while I'm not EXACTLY suggesting you catch the flu in order to lose your writing inhibitions, uh... maybe something less drastic? But only somewhat? >:)?

[fahye.livejournal.com]

I...have actually had good results before from being extremely unwell and doping myself with painkillers.

WHY ARE ALL THE HELPFUL OPTIONS SO UNHEALTHY.

[sainfoin-fields.livejournal.com]

WE ALL SUFFER FOR OUR ART, FAHYE.

[ronsard.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. It's like you have these images in your head and while they're there it's all, "Fuck yeah, that's hot!" but then you try to write it down and end up finding it sounding really weird in words. Sometimes I rephrase some pornish thing dozens of times before finally giving up because my writing is fail at conveying sexiness.

[ariastar.livejournal.com]

...Yeah, I usually take the "stay up far, far too late until all the internal editing filters are borked" option. It's not that I'm embarrassed, per se, it's just that all the words stop sounding so silly.

YOU CAN DO IIIIT.

(If it helps, I do not think Holmes and Watson will have cybersex in their letters. So I will spare your liver!)

[lizardspots.livejournal.com]

*KILLS YOU A LITTLE BIT. WITH PORN*

[a-white-rain.livejournal.com]

LOLS I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL

i am confused and afraid I was able to write sex