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Emma! Aria! input required
Look, Ji & I may have gotten a little bit carried away following this exchange.
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Ji: I got your comment and am thrilled but afraid to reveal how much in public
me: REVEAL
Ji: It is true, but that just means they are the BADDIES
me: EVEN BETTER
Ji: I KNOW
me: thomas b. would have made a good spy actually
Ji: Thomas M. is the one you don't know is a baddie
except you totally know.
because you have seen movies before.
me: if he hadn't been so keen on science
Ji: Yes, he would!
He has the people skills as well.
me: And the edge of moral flexibility which he would have slowly discovered as the situations required it
Ji: And I think he would find it really satisfying as well.
me: Yesss. Okay, tell me about Thom in this AU
Ji: I think he likes knowing things other people don't know
/being smarter than other people
me: that is true!
Ji: and spies are!
me: I have just realised that his relationship with Melody as regards Thom is EXACTLY THE SAME as if Thom were a metaphor for a dirty past in the spy business
Ji: I'm not sure. he is like a cross between the sulkiest Bond girl ever, a fucked up version of M and a terrorist
YOU ARE RIGHT
me: you only tell her when you trust her, and never tell her everything, and feel a bit weird when the two worlds intersect
Ji: Yes. And if she ever did know everything, it might not be The End
but that is almost worse ..
me: kjhdsd I am trying to imagine Thom as a Bond girl. Thomas B. would lose all patience with him halfway through the movie
Ji: he wouldn't be a good one
me: no
Ji: at all.
I will put my money on strangely alluring terrorist.
me: he might be okay if he STARTED the movie as a Bond girl and then morphed into some kind of triple agent
Ji: I also just can't imagine Thom finishing up on the Good Side.
me: I wish you would not say that, it makes me long DESPERATELY for a Spooks-Tom/Thom story
where Thom is an alluring terrorist
but that is TOO MANY TOMS
Ji: HAHAHAHAHA
oh my god
you could combine that
with our James Bond AU
me: HAHAH YES
Ji: THREE OF THEM
how many more Toms do we know??
that could be the glue
me: and then put them all in a room and have Henry laughing uncontrollably in the corner
Ji: er, Irwin
I'll now pause to imagine him in James Bond universe attire.
For some time.
me: I can see Irwin being an analyst type person
jksjdfh
yesssss
Ji: Yes, me too.
He doesn't do any of the actual spying work.
me: he considers situations in the light of their historical context
DAKIN would be a spy
in this scenario
Ji: HE WOULD
he would LOVE IT
me: YES
Ji: He already is a spy in his head.
me: oh god I love this universe
I think Henry is M
or the equivalent
Ji: is he?
but he has an evil overlord alter-self
me: if he was old enough
Ji: that would be even more fun
because we need one
me: he definitely has a Past with obviously-a-villain Thomas M.
Ji: Yes.
me: Thomas M and Thom would do well on the same side
if they could stop arguing long enough
Ji: I would love to see them forced to work together because they would be so bad at it.
me: yeah, they are more suited to working alone but towards the same goal
than ever, EVER having to cooperate
Ji: Yes, that is a very good point.
And trying very hard never to have to be in the same place at the same time.
me: so on the side of probably-good we have....Spooks-Tom, Thomas B., and Dakin
and Irwin and Henry behind the scenes
we need more bad guys
Ji: I said Henry for bad guy!
master bad guy
me: oh yes
Ji: so that's four to three
if we can think of another Tom I think we will be set
me: ....hmm. I am running a little dry on Toms. could we maybe cheat and recruit Mai Linh solely for purposes of BAMFism?
Ji: But then it isn't a fair contest, is it?
I feel like any James Bond universe cannot really support a person like Mai Linh
/vice versa
me: Alas :( Hmm.
the only other fannish Tom that springs to mind is Tom Riddle. not a lot of help.
Ji: hahahahahahaha
me: how about I post and appeal to Emma and Aria
~
?????
(because clearly what we need is ANOTHER version of the Mystique in which to drabble)
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2. THEY would happily recruit both Thom and Thomas B ... but that is because their hiring policies consist of "whoever Meligot feels like introducing into the soap opera of their lives today." DON'T CONTRADICT ME, ARIA. YOU KNOW THE FACTS.
3. I SAY WE HIRE THOMAS A BECKET FOR THE BAD GUYS. It would be IRONIC. Also, he would be really good at it. I used to keep a list of Thomases and Johns but I have forgotten most of them ... Tam Lin was on the list, as was, um, Thomas the Tank Engine. I am consumed with love at Tom Irwin making it in.
4. Shockingly, eating cookies at 1:00 makes you more hyper and alert, not less.
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DAKIN: *Dakin Grin* Oh, am I stopping you?
IRWIN: No, but you're doing your considerable best.
Then they fail to make out for two hours while Emma claws at her face. Or was that the actual movie?
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2. I DO KNOW THE FACTS.
3. I SECOND THIS MOTION.
4. I ... just slept for ten hours and missed all the fun.
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*dying* oh my god of course henry is sean bean. of course. although now i am having flashbacks to the terrible 80 part RPF sean bean/... I can't even remember, but whoever it was, it was heavy bdsm and sean bean kept being described as "pretty" and the other dude kept calling him "lad" and basically, ARIA, I NEED MY EYES.
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please describe Henry as a spy
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I am alarmed by how little thought I had to put into that.
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*is dragged away with a cane*
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Also, GET ON GCHAT.
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ps: and failing
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Talk to me about the office via comments?
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In the Mostly Good Spy Office, a young Tom from Young Wizards works the front desk and is John Le Carré. Like, everyone thinks he is just hanging around to get experience for his novel, but actually, he is the only reason Thom hasn't chemical-bombed it yet.
Irwin gets around his cunningly hidden coffee addiction by learning to drain a whole thermos at one go, but he has to close his eyes while doing so, so that one day Thomas Beech walks in halfway through the process and laughs unexpectedly and the coffee ruins Irwin's third-favorite tie.
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Ji and I want to import Henry from The Secret History to be the Mostly Good M, so that we then have a Henry on both sides, and Dakin is a unique and beautiful snowflake. (Dakin, I suspect, has shades of DDG!Draco. Which means of course that he and Henry King MUST MEET.)
I am writing Ji an Irwin-Thomas B. drabble on the bus home. Any requests to add?
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