fic rec. and babble.

[fahye]

Periapsis by rawles. Lee and Kara and the nature of sociopathy, before and after the end of the world. IT'S EXCELLENT, disturbing and plausible in the best Rawlesian style (see also: Reign Within); what's frightening is how little this AU alters things, in the end.

~

Pursuant to that, I think I have a fic in me somewhere about childhood and adolescence as a game of Mao. About taking an active role in your own operant conditioning, and about becoming fluent in the laws which determine your possibility of success.

(It took me a while to work out how to reconcile a strong desire to be universally liked with the inability to truly register negative emotion, when defining a coherent personality, but I figured it out eventually: someone disliking you is the equivalent of having to pick up a card. You've done something wrong. Work out what it is. You can't please everyone all the time is something of an alien concept; working within structures, basing your social interactions on the idea that there are certain agreed-upon rules, logic dictates that if your actions are appropriate then you will be rewarded. 'Not caring what people think' is a character trait; as such, it must be constructed and developed just like any other, and it takes some time to overcome the years-long association that is: someone's negative opinion = a mistake on your behalf.

And no matter how complex and thorough your understanding of human systems becomes, how automatic and effortless your behaviour, you never quite drop the idea that perfection is achievable. Tailor your game and tailor it again. You'll get there.)

Anyway, I was throwing around the idea of turning all of this into an Azula fic, but then I realised it wouldn't work because Azula never had to learn to act the same as everyone else: she was expected to be different. Her sociopathy was tolerated in some areas and encouraged in others. Her learning of the rules was strictly for the purpose of being the dealer, so to speak; she never had to compete with anyone or learn them in order to survive. She never had to build up her own portrayal of normalcy.

And I've already said what I want to about Dexter.

~

I enjoy Mao enormously, even when I start out blind; it's like life, only easier. And for much lower stakes.

Comments

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

*stares*

Your mind is gorgeous and fascinating, Lady Fahye.

[emptybackpack.livejournal.com]

Whoa, other people play Mao? I thought I was alone in that childhood experience.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

In Australia it's called The Chairman's Game, at least among everyone I've come across who knows what it is. I've only ever played it a couple of times, and those many years ago, so if I were to play it now I'd probably be starting from scratch.

[skygiants]

. . . it seems to me that it would be an excellent Kyouya fic.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

......YES.

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

I think these thoughts would go great into that universe with those robots! The interesting thing is, they are more for a robotic human than for a robot who is getting more human. But I like both those types of persons.

[lilith-lessfair.livejournal.com]

Hmmm ... very interesting, Mistress Fahye. That's a fic I'd like to see you write although I know little to nothing about Azula's world and I think a brief stay in Dexter's head would suffice for most (It is an interesting head, though.). I've seen the trope done with chess but not with Mao, and I think that would make an interesting twist.

And
"I enjoy Mao enormously, even when I start out blind; it's like life, only easier. And for much lower stakes."

Heh. Isn't that the truth since, in life, the rules can change at any time? At least in Mao, if I remember correctly, you have to wait for a new game to change the rules.