fahye | Doctor Who 4x00 - Voyage of the Damned

You know, that had a good plot and was exciting and all of that fun stuff, but I am still sitting here feeling utterly disgusted about the whole thing. You cannot expect to get away with killing off, in order:

1) The coloured guy
2) The canonically oppressed minority
3) The fat woman
4) The non-fat woman

And nobody else. Three white guys - four counting the Doctor - and THEY all survived.

And that's not even mentioning how pleased the Doctor looked to have a working-class blonde simpering at him again instead of that annoying educated coloured girl with her MAD WORLD-SAVING SKILLS and her habit of snapping in his face. (Okay, that's a little unfair to Astrid, of whom I was very fond, and whose little earnest fetching-of-the-first-aid-kit so that she was tall enough to kiss him I actually found quite cute. Even though I would have preferred there to be less kissing. I KNOW, SHOCK.)

BUT MOSTLY: FUCK *YOU*, RTD. Guess what? You do choose who lives and who dies, and when you make choices like that, it does make you a monster.

Seriously, how did he manage to miss the irony in his own fucking script?

Also: the Doctor will totally extend an invitation to the simpering blonde, but if the old guy asks? I TRAVEL ALONE. You can practically see him thinking shit, what if HE tries to give me mouth-to-mouth? I want Martha back. Or maybe sparkly-Tinkerbell-Astrid*. CLAP YOUR HANDS, KIDDIES.

Okay, stuff I did like:

- The twist re: time periods!
- The fact that all of London buggered off to the country. HAHAH. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, DOCTOR.
- Astrid, as mentioned. Someone pointed out that her name is an anagram of TARDIS, which I don't think is at all meaningful, but it's amusing anyway.
- The hilarious mish-mash of Earth Christmas traditions. "And then they went to war with the Turkish people! And ATE THOSE TURKEYS! Like SAVAGES!"
- The Host (best. pun. ever.). Thanks to this show I am never trusting anything angel-shaped AS LONG AS I LIVE.
- "Take me to your leader!"
- Some of the uber-serious posing and flying and angry-face-ing was just silly, but I really bought Tennant's portrayal of the "I can do anything!" fury at the end.
- TARDIS in the snoooooooow.

REACTIONS TO S4 TRAILER:

- Oh, Donna, I love you.
- KISSING? FUCK. STOP WITH THE KISSING.
- Tim McInnery! OMG! And Min from Jekyll! Awesome.

And in conclusion: I want the Master back. And Martha. And Jack.

ETA: *kjhdjdhjshSH. I just remembered. That scene in Moulin Rouge! where they all get drunk on absinthe and Kylie Minogue plays the Green Fairy in a Tinkerbell costume. CLEARLY a result of Astrid's blue sparkly bits mating with the TARDIS's yellow sparkly bits and having GREEN SPARKLY KYLIE-MINOGUE-SHAPED BABIES. This is obviously what they wanted us to extrapolate from the whole ASTRID=TARDIS thing, amirite?

More seriously, sparkly-Tinkerbell-Astrid would actually be a very fitting companion for Ten, who has the universe's biggest Peter Pan complex.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

OH MY GOD I KNOW RIGHT. I fucking want to stab that man in the face SERIOUSLY. IT'S JUST. EVERY TIME HE OPENS HIS MOUTH, I WANT TO KILL HIS FACE. AAAH.

like that shit about how WELL YOU KNOW, MARTHA WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS ME ROSE. and EVERY STORY BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T RELATED IS A LOVE STORY OKAYYY. HIS FAIL, IT STICKS ME PERMANENTLY IN CAPSLOCK.

(for some reason, i confused the name astrid with aphids and spent a good amount of time going WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, RUSTY D:)

also, it's so bizarre hearing an australian accent amongst all the brits. i was like, AWH YOU'RE SO CUTE, YOUR VOICE IS BROKEN.

Doctor Who 4x00 - Voyage of the Damned

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