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re: GAMSAT results
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, LJ.
I am in shock. (The good kind.)
We're talking serious, jaw-on-floor, throw-all-contingency-plans-out-window-immediately kind of shock.
I am in shock. (The good kind.)
We're talking serious, jaw-on-floor, throw-all-contingency-plans-out-window-immediately kind of shock.
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Dealing with Kara is precarious; balancing scales, weighing the possibility of flight against the possibilities contained in the human heart. The thing about Kara is that she is a bad liar, except when she isn't, and so you will learn to take her at face-value, instant by receding instant. When Kara says you don't mean anything to her, you don't mean anything to her -- now.
Kara is capable of subterfuge, but not in the present. She can rewrite or otherwise camouflage her past; she can change the emotions, if not the facts. And she can change the future. In the future, it is entirely possible -- in fact, it is likely -- that she will vault over your mangled corpse on her way out the door. At some distance, you will be a story, and as such will only have such power as stories bear on those who choose whether or not to relate them.
But that has no relevance now.
When Kara kisses you, that is now. You believe her. Why not? Neither of you is quite the same, after all, even from moment to moment; although you hold to the same properties, like a candle flame, your delimitations in fact are in constant flux. Now-Kara is all, and so you, now-Leoben, are the same --
And yet not the same.
Those rare occasions when she speaks either of past or of future are the only times when she is not there with you.
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What Judas did with the money:
He counted it, piece by shining silver piece, through rough brown fingers that had seen harder work. This as Yeshua suffered. This brought him silence. The coins ran together, hands and mind keeping time as if he were making music, and the numbers ran easily through his mind, numbers in place of thought.
Judas felt he should bear witness, but could not bring himself to bear witness.
So the words turned themselves over lightly, Aramaic changing into the rusty Hebrew of his youth, the language of duty, of prayer and of trial. It conveyed to him the impression that many, many people had walked over shifting sands all to bring history to this fixed, immutable point: to draw a thin line down the middle. Yeshua on one hill; he on another. Two sides of the same coin. Betrayer | Betrayed. Believer | Believed. Lover | Loved.
He wondered, fleeting, how it was that he had become the agent of all these emotions, and not the reverse; then it came to him that the reverse was true equally, and the paradox made him begin to cry. He scoured his eyes with fists brimming with silver, so that his face became dirty, and so the silver had an intimation of what tarnish would be, one day, when reparations were not so easy. His nails and the lucre's sharp edges dug into his skin. He waited until it was over.
Then he let the world pass through his fingers like so many vapors, set his teeth against whatever was yet to come; took up the rope and hanged himself; swung not at all in the warm windless spring.
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Although it is Carol who looks removed from the world, fainter almost than a handprint on a fogless car window, she finds it is Tony who really does not belong. There is a color of light he carries with him; a color that follows him like a dangerous man whom neighbours judged perfectly normal. These are a few words to describe it: cold, hollow, and delicate. It is almost -- but not quite -- blue. It is as if an innovative filmmaker had painted the lens of his camera with gel, and then, through some accident of circumstance, left it on Tony, with the viewfinder encompassing all the world.
The camera's concentration, too, he brings into her life. So that a February day eating tangerines zeroes in on the two of them: no one else. There is no one outside the little black box of their minds, which move so much in tandem. As usual, Tony has bled the tangerines dry of eponymous color; of flavor, of feel. Yet everything is enormously, monstrously clear. They are waiting, she knows. They have laid out the map and are waiting for something to go wrong. The weight of it between them creates impasse. The sins of others between them are no man's land.
Sometimes she thinks, she could violate all these rules: could put her hand out, through unbroken glass. But she knows that he knows that she never will.
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Nobody, in the end, had used quite the right words. When Lucile felt the executioner's hand close on her bare arm, her entire history came up and resided, tense and knotty, unfolding, in the hollow of her transient throat. Camille's letters had not put their finger on it. The way his fingers had folded around the locket that folded around her hair had come much closer. The blow she had taken from soldiers who broke and entered and took him away, closer still; and the hands that she loved had not dealt it.
Her pretense at adultery had been meaningless, except as it was measured against the bonds that inspired it. She thought of their love increasingly in terms of enslavement, as the wood held, unyielding, beneath her slight feet. The crowd did not look any smaller from such a great height. She could feel the chains that wound through the Widow's empty, cavernous mouth; that ended, Supreme Being or no Supreme Being, with her nervous husband. More than law, more than Sanson or Robespierre or Fouquier-Tinville, she felt they pulled her through.
If only, she thought, there had been words for that, Before.
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Years later, somewhere in the dusty heart of New Mexico, a man who was at home everywhere sat down to drink with a man who stood out anywhere. Thom skidded the pack of cards across the smooth wooden table. The devil ruffled their edges; raised him a thin, lightless smile. He tilted his head once in the direction of the next room. Thom lifted one shoulder -- what was there to say? -- and poured wine into twin glasses.
By the next day, they had played three hands. Having lost every go, Thom walked Lucifer to the door without visible resentment and said, quite soft, "I haven't changed my mind -- yet."
Then he smirked, and the devil -- oddly enough -- laughed and kissed him just once before leaving; this seemed satisfactory.
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You are a sly thing. So often I forget what you can do with words when I force you to produce them.
They have laid out the map and are waiting for something to go wrong. The weight of it between them creates impasse. The sins of others between them are no man's land.
SO PERFECT. HOW?
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*shakes tiny fists*
Then again, he is much older than me! --> hope
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I'm not even the tiniest bit suprised but I'm happy for you.
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I CERTAINLY HOPE SO. It's a good enough score to get me into any program I want, provided I don't screw up the interview.
COME TOO. We'll rule Sydney. And we'll fly to Melbourne for Wicked, absolutely :D
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Trust me, I'm working on getting to Sydney. Or Melbourne *g*
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Well, you know, you being in Melbourne would also be good. Because then we could crash on each other's floors when we fly back and forth for things like musicals & concerts.
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Good work!!! oh! it'd be great if you came to sydney (--> we have sandstone buildings!). Here's hoping I don't choke on the interview!
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Maybe you can give me advice on which colleges to apply to! Not all of them seem to accept postgrad students, and I don't really know anyone that I can go into share housing with on that kind of short notice.
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It has details of on campus colleges and halls of residence...and off-campus student hostles/residences around the area, especially in glebe.
Also, people choose to live in Sydney Uni Village (SUV) which is very close to the medical sciences area of the uni/the hospital. you can get share housing or single apartments. I believe the cost is lower than colleges (but you have to do your own cleaning, cooking etc). But it is quite a popular choice.
most students live in college/SUV for the first year til they get their feet...and then they move to surrounding areas like newtown/stanmore where you can rent houses. The stanmore area is nice and quiet and near parks and stuff (ppl like it cos its a good deal quieter than in college/SUV).
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You're applying to USyd as well, I assume? Are you in share housing?
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Yep usyd is the top of my list...i've wanted to go for ages...and I never thought i would get within a stone's throw with my gamsat. But, like you, I am absolutely ecstatic with mine! Although I hate the fact that you only get one interview out of all your preferences!!! :(
usyd has an admissions info evening on 5th june (or around that time). are you coming? (they'll igve info about mmi and stuff apparently) Check out the usyd medfac website under "events". Although, I'm happy to provide you with any info I find important if you can't come.
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to answer your question: I still live at home. which means a long commute for me in the mornings and evenings.
basically SUV is cheaper, but you have to do your chores. You also don't get the college sports, fraternity etc etc experience...SUV doesn't have all that as organised as college, but it is there nevertheless.
And SUV accepts you no matter who you are, as long as you are part of the University community.
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Maybe we could meet up and you could show me around the campus, if you're free!
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I'm only free from 9am-11am, then 1pm-4pm. (I've got a 1 hour cell physiology prac to go to at 4pm, before the info night starts at 6pm). So if you're around campus I can show you around, and we can wander about in Newtown.
Bussing back at night - sounds tiring. If you like, you can crash at my place and catch the bus the next day. Except, as you know, my house isn't near the city - so I don't know if you want to head out into suburbia and then come back in to the city the next morning. But you're more than welcome to stay at my place! (especially since the info night finishes at 9pm- do you have a bus back at that time???)
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I'd be able to take the train back into Central the next morning, and then take the 1pm bus back home.
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*dances around*
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*smooshes*
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*SPINS YOU AROUND THE ROOM*
GO YOU!
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Go you!
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(And PS, the thing the other day about hysteria and hysterectomies was an LOL factoid ;-> )