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just a few thoughts
Yesterday was Tuesday. Tuesday = cheap movies at my local plaza, so I figured I'd go and see a late session of Narnia by myself.
I arrived half an hour early thinking there'd be a queue, but not a long one; whooee. LONG. I managed to just join it before it went out the door.
And...well. Nobody goes to the movies by themselves. NOBODY. Judging by the stares I got. Why? I mean, I was there to see the film because I'd heard it was good, not to talk or to make out with anyone. So I stood in the queue and read Wicked. By myself. And I was absolutely surrounded by people - my age - who all looked the same. Lots of eyeliner, the same pink singlet tops, the same ultra-straight layered hair. Laughing in big groups and talking about nothing at all.
I was just in front of a large mixed group who talked constantly in loud voices, but I cannot remember a single word of it. When my friends and I are in queues for movies or whatever, we talk, but there's substance to it. I can't put it any better than that. And I suppose I've considered that the norm for so long that being exposed to a good half hour of mindless macho intolerance and girlish, high-pitched bitching was like being slapped in the face. How do people live like that?
They stared. A lot. One guy came and stood RIGHT next to me and pointedly read over my shoulder for a full minute. I ignored him - I ignored everyone, because the crush of people was enough to put me severely on edge anyway. My personal space constricted down to just me and my bag and the few inches in front of me which the book filled. (Just keep breathing and focus on the words.)
It was alright in the actual theatre. I moved seats to the end of a row so that a couple could sit together ("You're here on your own?" *incredulous/sympathetic look*) and sat back and just tuned. it. all. out.
(The movie, by the way, was lovely - I am getting my hands on the soundtrack ASAP, the children did a fine job, I think most of the women in the place felt vague cradle-snatchy urges at the sight of Peter being golden and noble, and Liam Neeson was inspired casting for the voice of Aslan. Visually it was stunning. I doubt I have anything original to say about it, so I'll let it go at that.)
Sometimes I worry about spending so much time online. But then I remember that I talk to and RP with and exchange creativity with intelligent, thinking, open-minded people. And I forget that the world isn't all like that, but I'd rather have it this way than have to adapt to what I experienced last night.
I'm not going to be judged because - at age just-nineteen - I've never dated and have no plans to any time soon and would prefer to see a movie on my own. I've met many people online who would consider reading in public to be an everyday and laudable action.
Consider this a nod of heartfelt gratitude.
I just needed to get that off my chest, I think.
I arrived half an hour early thinking there'd be a queue, but not a long one; whooee. LONG. I managed to just join it before it went out the door.
And...well. Nobody goes to the movies by themselves. NOBODY. Judging by the stares I got. Why? I mean, I was there to see the film because I'd heard it was good, not to talk or to make out with anyone. So I stood in the queue and read Wicked. By myself. And I was absolutely surrounded by people - my age - who all looked the same. Lots of eyeliner, the same pink singlet tops, the same ultra-straight layered hair. Laughing in big groups and talking about nothing at all.
I was just in front of a large mixed group who talked constantly in loud voices, but I cannot remember a single word of it. When my friends and I are in queues for movies or whatever, we talk, but there's substance to it. I can't put it any better than that. And I suppose I've considered that the norm for so long that being exposed to a good half hour of mindless macho intolerance and girlish, high-pitched bitching was like being slapped in the face. How do people live like that?
They stared. A lot. One guy came and stood RIGHT next to me and pointedly read over my shoulder for a full minute. I ignored him - I ignored everyone, because the crush of people was enough to put me severely on edge anyway. My personal space constricted down to just me and my bag and the few inches in front of me which the book filled. (Just keep breathing and focus on the words.)
It was alright in the actual theatre. I moved seats to the end of a row so that a couple could sit together ("You're here on your own?" *incredulous/sympathetic look*) and sat back and just tuned. it. all. out.
(The movie, by the way, was lovely - I am getting my hands on the soundtrack ASAP, the children did a fine job, I think most of the women in the place felt vague cradle-snatchy urges at the sight of Peter being golden and noble, and Liam Neeson was inspired casting for the voice of Aslan. Visually it was stunning. I doubt I have anything original to say about it, so I'll let it go at that.)
Sometimes I worry about spending so much time online. But then I remember that I talk to and RP with and exchange creativity with intelligent, thinking, open-minded people. And I forget that the world isn't all like that, but I'd rather have it this way than have to adapt to what I experienced last night.
I'm not going to be judged because - at age just-nineteen - I've never dated and have no plans to any time soon and would prefer to see a movie on my own. I've met many people online who would consider reading in public to be an everyday and laudable action.
Consider this a nod of heartfelt gratitude.
I just needed to get that off my chest, I think.
no subject
And given the option, I'd rather go alone than with a bunch of people I don't know well or haven't much in common with - saw Philadelphia with a few vague friends and they were so moved and touched by it we had to travel home in the car in silence and not discuss it (or criticise the really weak parts, dammit) because it was sooooooooooo special and meaningful. Ugh. I took myself alone to the next one!
no subject
I see movies on my own. People who can't comprehend moving beyond their flocks and actually doing something on their own always baffle me just a little bit, as do people who claim that friends online don't count as friends. I'm more honest with most of my online friends than my RL friends, and I know I love a good deal of them, so why shouldn't they count?
I'm glad you're not going to let yourself be judged. You're loved for you.
no subject
One good response to the bizarre pity is to smile warmly and ask them whether they've gone by themselves before. Because it's an experience, you know? A good one, I think.
no subject
I know what you mean.
Societal pressure sucks.
no subject
I did go alone once and it wasn't a pleasant experience. It wasn't intentional, my friends messed up the times. Anyway I had bunch dickheads ask me if I was there alone and I said that my friends were coming. When they didn't come I felt a bit stupid because it looked liked I'd lied.
no subject
I constantly go to the movies by myself. It doesn't bother me, hell, sometimes I prefer it. I mean, like you said, I go to watch the movie, not to have people constantly talking to me during it.
And I also know how you feel about the whole 'being in public by yourself' thing. It's uncomfortable, and no matter how much you tell yourself 'I don't care what everyone else thinks,' it still nags at you.
Clearly one of these days we will all have to get together and go to the movies and invade the personal space of the idiots and their vacuous conversations.
*hugs*