*pisses self laughing*

[fahye]

These may not be at all amusing to anyone but drealle, parcae, schiarire and anyone else of a scientific/academic turn of mind, but for someone who is in the middle of writing up a wanky report on cytoplasmic streaming in internodal branch cells of Chara australis this is the best thing ever:



The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD
dissertation or academic paper.

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
This data is practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"...
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...
The other results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...
This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"...
I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...
Once.

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...
Twice.

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...
Thrice.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...
I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...
A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ...
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"...
Rumor has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"...
A really wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"...
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"...
I don't understand it....and I never will.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"...
They don't understand it either.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"...
A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"...
I am pleased to feed you bull.

I don't have a scientific icon! What is this nonsense? JI! CORI! ICON WENCHES!

Comments

[izumihydra.livejournal.com]

HAR HAR HAR.
*love*

[fahye.livejournal.com]

I think This was the prettiest graph is my favourite. Because really, that's what I'm doing.

[tammaiya.livejournal.com]

*DIES LAUGHING*

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

*gigglesnorfle*
Precious. And so true.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

I wonder how many I can insert into my prac without anyone noticing...

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

Oh, many. I mean, I don't think I've ever read a csientific paper that hadn't at least one of them, and most have several. So I guess you should be fine. Unless, of course, your prof knows this list...

[fahye.livejournal.com]

Prof? Ahaha. We poor first years have our pracs marked by our demonstrators, who are PhD students. Which, come to think of it, might make him MORE likely to have read the list...

[tiltingheartand]

*dies laughing*

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

NOOOOOOOOOOO I have no pictures because I put them on a DVD because my hard drive is threatening harakiri and and and I got nothing.

*sobs*

*is cheered by funny*

[fahye.livejournal.com]

SAVE ME FROM ATP-DRIVEN MOTOR PROTEINS AND ACTIN INHIBITORS.

*clingeth*

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

I AM HERE

ARE YOU

GOD KNOWS

[minkhollow]

::snerk::