These holidays aren't being quite as relaxing as they should have been.

[fahye]

I wish I could RP for a long time with some decent characters, but I'm afraid to start things that I know I won't be able to finish.

I wish every moment I spend doing nothing could be enjoyed for what it is instead of being filled with guilt that my schoolwork isn't being done.

I wish I had time to read and read and read and then write and write and write, not because I feel obligated to but because I want to and I miss it more than anything. I used to read so much and there are so many things I want to read, and I don't. Have. Time. The reason my writing ever improved in the first place was because I read everything I could get my hands on, and now I can feel any kind of flimsy pretense at skill I ever built up dwindling away out of neglect.

I wish I wasn't always thinking about the things that have to be bought or the tests that have to be done or the things that need to be organised.

I wish my mother did not find it necessary to drag me out of bed at 9am and I wish I didn't have to sleep at all because it seems like a waste of what time I have.

I wish I didn't feel like I'm abandoning my friends online and off.

I wish I wasn't quite so self-absorbed and could post something amusing or insightful instead of throwing an immature online tantrum about things that are entirely my own fault.

I wish I was brave enough to disallow comments.

Comments

[miscellanny.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. It'd be cool if we could never sleep and then die earlier, or something. Or like in Amelie- get all our sleep out of the way in one go, dream our way out of life. I miss you, but I don't blame you kid. I'll write you a letter. :D As for the mother thing- spring out of bed a couple of times, and almost-karate-chop her. When she protests, blame your ninja instincts. Maybe she'll stop eventually. ;)

*hugs*

[dredpiratejenny.livejournal.com]

I'm mailing you a letter in the next couple of days. Till then I will continue to spam your flist with French Revolution nonsense in the hopes that someday you will be intimidated into returning....

*pines*