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Inspired by the inestimable ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
schiarire. Chem notes gone wild. Full of injokes that will make no sense except to... me *is pathetic*
I'll just pretend that it's helping me study.
Also: Ji and I are pretentious, yo.
~ ON AN OIL RIG ~
Daniell: My battery is sparklier than yours. Spontaneous redox creates energy! I SHALL SELL THE MOVIE RIGHTS!
Leclanche: ...it's two beakers and some wires, Daniell.
Daniell: Yes! Its beauty lies in its simplicity!
Leclanche: And it is useful precisely how?
Daniell: *mumble can light up tiny light bulbs 'n stuff mumble*
Leclanche: Mine can actually be stuck in things like Walkmans. That are, you know, practical.
Daniell: ...stfu
Leclanche: I win.
Some random: *invents the dry alkaline battery* Behold the superior performance of my concentrated electrolyte!
Leclanche: Shit
Some other random: *invents the lead-acid battery* Behold the rechargeable battery of the future, ie. motor vehicles!
Leclanche: ...
Daniell: Want to get drunk?
Leclanche: Hell yes.
~ SOMEWHERE ELSE ~
Le Chatelier: Look, everyone! If you add something to this equilibrium system it tries to use it up!
Everyone: Uh, yeah. We've known that for years. That's COMMON SENSE.
Le Chatelier: And if you heat it up, it uses the heat energy!
Everyone: *grits their teeth and buys a semiautomatic*
Le Chatelier: I shall put it into fancy words and name it after myself! And when I'm dead they shall remember me as the man who invented the equilibrium principles!
Everyone: You can't invent rules of nature, TWAT. And funny you should mention being dead...
~ IN A RANDOM LAB ~
Bronsted: What an amazing theory we have come up with, Lowry!
Lowry: Indeed we have, Bronsted!
Bronsted: We shall call it the Bronsted Theory of Acids and Bases!
Lowry: ... That's a really inelegant name for a theory.
Bronsted: And you can come up with a better one?
Lowry: Well, yes... *suggests the obvious*
Lewis: Why don't you just call it after BOTH of you? Bronsted-Lowry?
Lowry: Or Lowry-Bronsted.
Bronsted: Are you kidding? That makes it sound like we're married. And this is our poor kid being stuck with a double-barreled surname. And why are you looking at me funny?
Lewis: On the subject of theories, I came up with this -
Freya: NO LEWIS THEORY ON UNIT OUTLINE MOVING RIGHT ALONG
~ TRALALA RUNNING OUT OF LOCATIONS ~
Bastard Who Invented pH: *chokegurgledie*
Freya: *smirks and lowers garotte wire*
~ IMPRESSIONIST EUROPE ~
Renoir: ARGH, my back!
Dufy: ARGH, my arthritis!
Klee: ARGH, my unpronouncable joint problem!
Monet: ...you guys are pathetic.
Dufy: Yeah, well, your pictures are boring and earthy. Look at our vibrant yellows and reds!
Monet: Yes. And notice my lack of ill health.
PhD students from the future: OOOH! *make connection*
Monet: And the moral is, don't lick your paintbrush if you're a pretentious git who likes using cadmium pigments.
~ SOME YEARS LATER ~
Bohr: Look at my brilliant model for electron configuration! See how accurately I can predict the emission spectra for hydrogen!
Everyone else: Uh, Bohr, it doesn't work for anything BUT hydrogen.
Bohr: And there are orbits! And the atom looks like a tiny solar system!
Makers of clip art: Oooh, cool *create inaccurate but pleasing pictures*
Schroedinger: They're not actually orbits, they're clouds of probability.
Bohr: LALALA NOT LISTENING!
~ ELSEWHERE IN THE ELECTRON BUILDING ~
Pauli: I have a rule!
Hund: I have a rule too!
Pauli: Mine is better!
Hund: Is not!
Pauli: Is too! It's not even a boring old rule, it's a... um... *makes something up* exclusion principle. Yeah. So there.
Science teachers in the future: Pauli and Hund, Pauli and Hund, filling orbitals, blah blah blah Pauli and Hund.
Freya: OMG rivalslash all the way.
~ AND FINALLY ~
Transition metals: can go stuff themselves.
schiarire. Chem notes gone wild. Full of injokes that will make no sense except to... me *is pathetic*I'll just pretend that it's helping me study.
Also: Ji and I are pretentious, yo.
~ ON AN OIL RIG ~
Daniell: My battery is sparklier than yours. Spontaneous redox creates energy! I SHALL SELL THE MOVIE RIGHTS!
Leclanche: ...it's two beakers and some wires, Daniell.
Daniell: Yes! Its beauty lies in its simplicity!
Leclanche: And it is useful precisely how?
Daniell: *mumble can light up tiny light bulbs 'n stuff mumble*
Leclanche: Mine can actually be stuck in things like Walkmans. That are, you know, practical.
Daniell: ...stfu
Leclanche: I win.
Some random: *invents the dry alkaline battery* Behold the superior performance of my concentrated electrolyte!
Leclanche: Shit
Some other random: *invents the lead-acid battery* Behold the rechargeable battery of the future, ie. motor vehicles!
Leclanche: ...
Daniell: Want to get drunk?
Leclanche: Hell yes.
~ SOMEWHERE ELSE ~
Le Chatelier: Look, everyone! If you add something to this equilibrium system it tries to use it up!
Everyone: Uh, yeah. We've known that for years. That's COMMON SENSE.
Le Chatelier: And if you heat it up, it uses the heat energy!
Everyone: *grits their teeth and buys a semiautomatic*
Le Chatelier: I shall put it into fancy words and name it after myself! And when I'm dead they shall remember me as the man who invented the equilibrium principles!
Everyone: You can't invent rules of nature, TWAT. And funny you should mention being dead...
~ IN A RANDOM LAB ~
Bronsted: What an amazing theory we have come up with, Lowry!
Lowry: Indeed we have, Bronsted!
Bronsted: We shall call it the Bronsted Theory of Acids and Bases!
Lowry: ... That's a really inelegant name for a theory.
Bronsted: And you can come up with a better one?
Lowry: Well, yes... *suggests the obvious*
Lewis: Why don't you just call it after BOTH of you? Bronsted-Lowry?
Lowry: Or Lowry-Bronsted.
Bronsted: Are you kidding? That makes it sound like we're married. And this is our poor kid being stuck with a double-barreled surname. And why are you looking at me funny?
Lewis: On the subject of theories, I came up with this -
Freya: NO LEWIS THEORY ON UNIT OUTLINE MOVING RIGHT ALONG
~ TRALALA RUNNING OUT OF LOCATIONS ~
Bastard Who Invented pH: *chokegurgledie*
Freya: *smirks and lowers garotte wire*
~ IMPRESSIONIST EUROPE ~
Renoir: ARGH, my back!
Dufy: ARGH, my arthritis!
Klee: ARGH, my unpronouncable joint problem!
Monet: ...you guys are pathetic.
Dufy: Yeah, well, your pictures are boring and earthy. Look at our vibrant yellows and reds!
Monet: Yes. And notice my lack of ill health.
PhD students from the future: OOOH! *make connection*
Monet: And the moral is, don't lick your paintbrush if you're a pretentious git who likes using cadmium pigments.
~ SOME YEARS LATER ~
Bohr: Look at my brilliant model for electron configuration! See how accurately I can predict the emission spectra for hydrogen!
Everyone else: Uh, Bohr, it doesn't work for anything BUT hydrogen.
Bohr: And there are orbits! And the atom looks like a tiny solar system!
Makers of clip art: Oooh, cool *create inaccurate but pleasing pictures*
Schroedinger: They're not actually orbits, they're clouds of probability.
Bohr: LALALA NOT LISTENING!
~ ELSEWHERE IN THE ELECTRON BUILDING ~
Pauli: I have a rule!
Hund: I have a rule too!
Pauli: Mine is better!
Hund: Is not!
Pauli: Is too! It's not even a boring old rule, it's a... um... *makes something up* exclusion principle. Yeah. So there.
Science teachers in the future: Pauli and Hund, Pauli and Hund, filling orbitals, blah blah blah Pauli and Hund.
Freya: OMG rivalslash all the way.
~ AND FINALLY ~
Transition metals: can go stuff themselves.
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just arrogance, which i can't criticise in the slightest. (particularly considering my life motto is "PEOPLE ARE STUPID!")
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I'm always disappointed when the word "Schroedinger" is not immediately followed by "'s cat" in chemistry.
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Sadly, I do not like either Deagree or Fox Talbot enough to rivalslash them at all. Even if they both invented permenant images at the same time and have that whole English/French thing going.
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OMG
sekritlustHATE!!!one!!eleven!!!no subject
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