fook

[fahye]

(initial swearing Britainised for the sensitive, though this entry is rated M for coarse language)

Got home all ready to do my homework.

Maths Core? Lost my question booklet. Can't do THOSE questions, and I have it first period tomorrow.

Maths Extension? Don't. Understand. Spent almost an hour staring at the notes, couldn't work out what the hell was going on. Numbers started to blur. Head pounding from fucking headcold.

*########* (That was my mental breakdown. It wasn't pretty, believe me.)

Eventually I pulled myself together and went to get a cup of tea, collapsed on mother's shoulder and fell apart again. Mother put me on strict orders to not go to dance, ignore my work, and told me to 'go watch something'.

Feeling horribly guilty because of House Music/job letter/essay/chemistry all yet to be done, I took her advice.

Buffalo Soldiers is the most fucking awesome movie I have ever seen. I mean it.

Joaquin Phoenix is somewhat akin to John Cusack and Ralph Fiennes in that I don't find them outstandingly attractive, but as soon as they start talking I melt into the floor. I am now far too relaxed for my own good and whilst I still feel like death warmed up, I'm not feeling urges to throw things across the kitchen any more ^^;;

I'm holding myself together with music, the prospect of finishing fucking school at the end of the year, and sheer willpower.

Comments

[not-in-denial.livejournal.com]

Didn't I tell you not to go and burn yourself out? Mental breakdowns are in the same league, young lady. Do not force me to take you out and get you trashed at Cube. (No one cards anyone at Cube, so I don't see that you wouldn't get in.)

[fahye.livejournal.com]

I couldn't heeeeeelp it *wails*

Cube, Cube... sounds familiar. Not sure why I'd have heard of it.

[not-in-denial.livejournal.com]

The Cube is Canberra's resident gay/lesbian/bi/transgender nightclub. It's small, it's vaguely poppy, it never gets busy until 11pm, it has some very nice cocktails, and underage people nearly always manage to squeeze into it somehow. It's also right in the middle of Civic.

And the offer was actually entirely serious. I'm considering calling some people and going out on Friday night anyway, since I'll be on meds soon and want to drink before I do. ^_^

[fahye.livejournal.com]

Ah, I thought so. Wasn't sure.

I'm pretty sure by then I'll have recovered enough to be working frantically on my school things, but thanks for the offer :)

[not-in-denial.livejournal.com]

Recovering how far?

Don't just get yourself back up to an acceptable level. Work past that a bit until you actually feel better than you think you should to get back to work. Otherwise you're just going to push yourself right back into burnout again.

*hug hug*

[amayonolune.livejournal.com]

I would lecture you, but it seems like you've pulled yourself together and did the right things. I'm proud of you.
*hugs tightly*
Time off is needed. Especially when one has stressed themselves out to the point they break down. That's a state one should NOT get themselves in.
Forget the guilt. We all know we'll feel awful about it later but do stuff anyway. It's a form of destressing I think. Just relax, clam your mind and things shouldn't be as bad.
*hugs again*
But I'm glad your at least a bit better now after melting over voices. Keep yourself together girl. When you can't just come winge at me or anyoneelse. As I've said before, we're all ALL here for you.
*tackle glomps*
Did you mention voices?

Re: *hug hug*

[fahye.livejournal.com]

*closes eyes and relaxes in hugs*

Subaru is off angsting now. You've made him shut up, for which I am very thankful. D'you wanna get Mordred and 'Ala talking again?

Voices. Sweet Lord. WATCH this movie.