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reflection
I've been feeling kind of twitchy and inside-out since I arrived in London and that's settling, now, which is nice. I think there were a few contributing factors: guilt that I wasn't taking advantage of London and Doing! More! and guilt that I was spending more money on food than I could have been*, and guilt at not writing, and also a bit of unexpected realisation that I'm not as introverted as I used to be (THANKS, medical degree) and while I can put up with a lot of solitude, eventually I do need to have a conversation or three.
But I've been meeting various delightful LJ people, and settling into my placement, and spending a bit more on occasional coffees/meals out, and slowly relaxing into an acceptance that it will not be the end of the world if I present my parents with a food-budget that is not of the bare minimum, beans-on-toast-every-day sort.
Today was good: I slept in, I went to the British Library and spent something like three hours strolling starry-eyed through their Treasures collection and the current exhibit about the evolution of the English language (<33!! it reminded me of being seventeen and doing Origins of English with Mrs Thompson and doing a presentation on the language of online fandom) and lusting after ALL THE MUGS in the giftshop. Alice in Wonderland mugs! Sketches of old London mugs! Handel's Messiah manuscript mugs! I could have endlessly pretentious mugs of tea.
*It's hilarious what goes on inside my head whenever the subject of going to see a musical or a play comes up. Half of me goes YOU ARE IN LONDON, IT WILL BE SHAMEFUL IF YOU DO NOT GO, and the other half goes YOU ARE VERY POOR, IT WILL BE SHAMEFUL TO SPEND THAT MUCH ON SOMETHING FRIVOLOUS and then I just sort of implode and ignore the topic for another two days. I am awesome at guilt for someone who was raised neither Jewish nor Catholic.
But I've been meeting various delightful LJ people, and settling into my placement, and spending a bit more on occasional coffees/meals out, and slowly relaxing into an acceptance that it will not be the end of the world if I present my parents with a food-budget that is not of the bare minimum, beans-on-toast-every-day sort.
Today was good: I slept in, I went to the British Library and spent something like three hours strolling starry-eyed through their Treasures collection and the current exhibit about the evolution of the English language (<33!! it reminded me of being seventeen and doing Origins of English with Mrs Thompson and doing a presentation on the language of online fandom) and lusting after ALL THE MUGS in the giftshop. Alice in Wonderland mugs! Sketches of old London mugs! Handel's Messiah manuscript mugs! I could have endlessly pretentious mugs of tea.
*It's hilarious what goes on inside my head whenever the subject of going to see a musical or a play comes up. Half of me goes YOU ARE IN LONDON, IT WILL BE SHAMEFUL IF YOU DO NOT GO, and the other half goes YOU ARE VERY POOR, IT WILL BE SHAMEFUL TO SPEND THAT MUCH ON SOMETHING FRIVOLOUS and then I just sort of implode and ignore the topic for another two days. I am awesome at guilt for someone who was raised neither Jewish nor Catholic.