Doctor Who 4x00 - Voyage of the Damned

[fahye]

You know, that had a good plot and was exciting and all of that fun stuff, but I am still sitting here feeling utterly disgusted about the whole thing. You cannot expect to get away with killing off, in order:

1) The coloured guy
2) The canonically oppressed minority
3) The fat woman
4) The non-fat woman

And nobody else. Three white guys - four counting the Doctor - and THEY all survived.

And that's not even mentioning how pleased the Doctor looked to have a working-class blonde simpering at him again instead of that annoying educated coloured girl with her MAD WORLD-SAVING SKILLS and her habit of snapping in his face. (Okay, that's a little unfair to Astrid, of whom I was very fond, and whose little earnest fetching-of-the-first-aid-kit so that she was tall enough to kiss him I actually found quite cute. Even though I would have preferred there to be less kissing. I KNOW, SHOCK.)

BUT MOSTLY: FUCK *YOU*, RTD. Guess what? You do choose who lives and who dies, and when you make choices like that, it does make you a monster.

Seriously, how did he manage to miss the irony in his own fucking script?

Also: the Doctor will totally extend an invitation to the simpering blonde, but if the old guy asks? I TRAVEL ALONE. You can practically see him thinking shit, what if HE tries to give me mouth-to-mouth? I want Martha back. Or maybe sparkly-Tinkerbell-Astrid*. CLAP YOUR HANDS, KIDDIES.

Okay, stuff I did like:

- The twist re: time periods!
- The fact that all of London buggered off to the country. HAHAH. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, DOCTOR.
- Astrid, as mentioned. Someone pointed out that her name is an anagram of TARDIS, which I don't think is at all meaningful, but it's amusing anyway.
- The hilarious mish-mash of Earth Christmas traditions. "And then they went to war with the Turkish people! And ATE THOSE TURKEYS! Like SAVAGES!"
- The Host (best. pun. ever.). Thanks to this show I am never trusting anything angel-shaped AS LONG AS I LIVE.
- "Take me to your leader!"
- Some of the uber-serious posing and flying and angry-face-ing was just silly, but I really bought Tennant's portrayal of the "I can do anything!" fury at the end.
- TARDIS in the snoooooooow.

REACTIONS TO S4 TRAILER:

- Oh, Donna, I love you.
- KISSING? FUCK. STOP WITH THE KISSING.
- Tim McInnery! OMG! And Min from Jekyll! Awesome.

And in conclusion: I want the Master back. And Martha. And Jack.

ETA: *kjhdjdhjshSH. I just remembered. That scene in Moulin Rouge! where they all get drunk on absinthe and Kylie Minogue plays the Green Fairy in a Tinkerbell costume. CLEARLY a result of Astrid's blue sparkly bits mating with the TARDIS's yellow sparkly bits and having GREEN SPARKLY KYLIE-MINOGUE-SHAPED BABIES. This is obviously what they wanted us to extrapolate from the whole ASTRID=TARDIS thing, amirite?

More seriously, sparkly-Tinkerbell-Astrid would actually be a very fitting companion for Ten, who has the universe's biggest Peter Pan complex.