A very late answer to this comment, but I was re-reading your story after reccing it to someone and stumbled back in here, and I just wanted to say:

I am a huge Moffat fan.

Me too. Apart from the brilliance that is "The Empty Child"/"The Doctor Dances", I think "The Girl in the Fireplace" is one of the most overwhelming and poignant pieces of television writing out there. I'm in awe of his skill. And I'd love to see him write something for Torchwood.