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Yuletide recs
Finally! It's been a fun few days digging through the archive, but:
(There are a couple I want to rec but can't do so properly because I know who wrote them, so I'll save those for when I talk about my own fics after the reveal.)
WRITTEN FOR ME:
Mirrormask
With Tremulous Cadence
He laughs, feet landing back where he'd began, where she'd stood a moment ago. Another pin. It's balls now, entirely, flying tiny spheres of color. There's one black one there and Helena shuts her eyes, catching without watching for just a second. When she opens them again, she knows they're her eyes. Not ink-black. But sometimes, she wants things for herself and wants to be able to not care if it hurts anyone else, and thinks that if she does it, the ink would spread across pupils and irises and she'd be someone different and less.
Helena/unValentine, juggling and talking. I love this one for what it says about Helena and her attempts to adjust after returning to the real world. Also it has the word ‘cadence’ in the title, which, HELLO, perfect.
Lucifer (comic)
Happy Families
He laughed, and she was almost startled by the sound, as she hadn't been courting it this time. It was kind of cool, though, that she made him laugh. "Even a day in a mortal form, and they would line up to kill me, little Yahweh."
"Call me Elaine. And so what? You die, and then you're you again. Besides. You'd be with me. You can teach me to play piano."
"You know how."
"Yeah, but I've never been taught." Elaine looked at him. "What good is saving the world if we don't have any fun in it?"
Lucifer and Elaine Belloc discuss designs, Michael, possibilities and mortality. It’s just amazing.
Howl’s Moving Castle (book)
Four Things Howl Never Told Sophie And One Thing He Did
Howl smiled at her back. "You do realize I'll never let you live this down," he said.
"You're older than I am," Sophie said, setting the brush aside, "and you've twice the silver I have."
"So I am," said Howl, "and so I do. But unlike you, I embrace artifice without reservation. Next week I think I'll be a redhead."
This is so beautifully, perfectly DWJ-esque that it makes me grin every time.
NOT WRITTEN FOR ME BUT ALSO AWESOME:
Anastasia
Dmitri in the Old Palace
He stood and dressed, then made his way to the rooms where the royal family had slept. There he spat on the floor at the foot of each bed but Anastasia's, whose room he did not enter, and when he had finished, he went to the servants's quarters and spat on the ground where the cook who beat him had slept.
Quiet, depressing and clever; a look at Dmitri’s growing-up.
Angels in America
Fall From a Star
Balancing on the balls of her feet, she knocks her heels together three times and chants "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home."
When she opens her eyes, nothing has changed, and the Munchkin is looking at her with an almost pitying expression. "That doesn't work when you're not wearing shoes," he informs her. Harper looks down and shuffles her stocking feet on the floorboards. "Look, it'll be faster if you just go," he says. "Complete the quest. Save the world. Get back to your life, such as it is." The dog barks in agreement.
HARPER! Someone wrote Harper backstory and it’s got exactly the right mixture of madness and sympathetic clarity. I love Harper. I love this.
Ballet Shoes
The Fossil Record
Pauline supposed that most people should be terrified to find ghosts in bed with them at night, but she was beginning to think that she wasn't like most people.
"The studio party was lovely," she murmured, rubbing the back of her head against her deep, soft feather pillow. "There were so very many film stars there, the terribly famous ones too!"
"And here our own Pauline among them," Posy said in admiration. She dug her fingers into Pauline's side to convey her pleasure. "Soon you shall be more famous than all of them!"
"You as well," Pauline said, and Posy complacently agreed, "Me as well."
The cleverness of this one kind of crept up on me. The tone is just right, and it made me long to read the book again.
Cabaret
Tomorrow Belongs
"I didn't think it was a uniquely German vice," Brian said, too lightly.
"No, perhaps not." Max's fingers moved across his hip, sharp and sure. "But there is - Sally."
Brian lifted his hips, impatient under Max's hands. "I don't want to talk about Sally."
Max smiled, "No? She is always so eager to talk about you."
I had no idea I wanted Cabaret fic until I read this, and my GOD, it’s fantastic. Brian after the fact, with a bit of Sally and a lot of Max and the war hanging over everyone’s heads.
Coupling (UK)
Best Laid Plans
"Jeff! How's Malaga? Women, sunbathing, drinks, women." Patrick picked up the telephone handset and grinned across the bar at Sally, a number five `I am definitely going to sleep with you, but don't bother cooking breakfast.' Damn, force of habit - Patrick downgraded his smile to a seventeen `Exes, relatives and other people I'm not going to have sex with'.
Jeff sounded worried. "I'm not in Malaga. I'm in Milton Keynes. I think."
"Are you sure?" Patrick asked.
"I am," said Jeff. "There are no palm trees and very little dance music."
I don’t think I could write Coupling, and so I have enormous amounts of respect for anyone who can. This gets everybody dead on, especially Patrick and Sally, who are my favourites. Love.
Fables (comic)
Scenes From Paris
"Oh my God!" was the first thing Rose said. "Why are you talking to me? Isn't Bigby there with you? What are you doing out of bed?"
"I don't know what you're trying to imply," Snow said.
"Oh, please," said Rose. "Don't even start."
Bigby and Snow. Honeymooning in Paris. It’s simple and sweet and has some lovely moments.
Grosse Pointe Blank
Martin Q. Blank, Session Six
"Okay. Fine. You don't want to talk about work, I don't want you to talk about work. I don't want to know, you don't want to tell me. Now, you tell me, Martin, how are we supposed to proceed with this relationship under these circumstances?"
Fucking Oatman and his impressive speech patterns and his stupid office layout.
"I don't see as how this is so cut and dried. A man is more than his job. Just because a guy works for a Buddy Burger, flipping single patties all day, that doesn't mean he is nothing more than a lump of non-animal byproduct sizzling in his own grease. I can be more than my job. Separate the man from the mission, Oatman. That's what I'm asking you to do so that we can get back on track. We need to get back on track with my road to recovery. That's what you told me when I started coming to you for sessions and that's what I want from you now."
I am still scraping my jaw off the floor at how good this was – it takes the pitch black humour of the film and removes all of the humour except for the sharpest parts. Brilliant.
Howl’s Moving Castle (book)
Once Upon A Time In Ingary
Sophie fixed him with an eyeball, the one that was better at intimidating looks than the other. Then she did the same thing to the pear. "And you," she scolded it, "I won't have any insubordination from you! You're a pear and tonight it's your fate to be eaten. If I were a pear, I wouldn't want to be seen all brown and blotchy... Although I've had liver spots, and you know, they're nothing to be ashamed of. You should be proud to look so wise and dignified, and you -- "
Howl's slender fingers grabbed onto hers. "If you insist on giving pep talks to every piece of fruit we eat, even vegetarianism won't be safe in this house."
"If you insist on gluing fruit to the table," she smiled back, "this house will have roaches."
This has a very clever premise, and an even cleverer resolution, and I adore the attention to detail and the fleshing-out of one of my favourite fictional romances.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The Case Of The Gay Detectives
Perry stopped and propped himself up on his elbows over my hips. He looked annoyed. "What the fuck? Are you narrating the blow job?"
"I'm into the moment."
"You need to shut the fuck up."
"It felt good!"
"Congratulations, you're the first guy in the history of the world ever to enjoy a blowjob. Please be sure to tell all your friends about it. Later," he insisted.
This is the funniest thing I have read all year, I swear to God. Just as good as the film.
Noir Enough
My current job description reads:
Answer telephones, make appointments, run errands, file papers, avoid all mention of Jonny Gossamer, don't pretend to take or work cases, and don't touch my guns.
Perry wrote that one night and left it taped to my desk with WHAT YOU DO IN CASE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID written on the top of it. He'd had a bad day. I don't hold it against him.
Also hilarious. I don’t know. I ran out of good words a while back. Just read it.
Day 378: And Now, Tomorrow
So Perry was an asshole and ruined the surprise, which is par for the course, but I forgave him the instant I opened the fridge and found, not one, but several bottles of champagne which I had definitely not bought, all of which were well past the upper-middle-class range. There were also some dessert thingies gfhhihaavgrij okay, sorry, that was Perry punching my shoulder. Apparently, the dessert thingies are called "petty four's fag-hag" m;fgkd;ghjkl excuse me, "petits fours, fag-hag". I'm not going to finish this story until he stops staring over my shoulder at the computer screen. No, Perry, I'm not full of shit. Yes, I do think it's pretty fucking funny to answer you by typing.
Threesome fic! YES! I love this person forever for not handwaving the Dream Girl out of the way to make room for the gay porn, and it’s funny and the voices are spot on and yes. This is my favoured version of events following the film itself.
The Case Of The Gay Shirt
The next scene starts with me going to the club in my gay shirt. I had a picture of the guy I was looking for, and my teeny tiny gay camera--look, Perry makes the same jokes about it as he does about the derringer, and he's my boss--and an expense form for the cover charge, which was fifty fucking dollars.
Then about a hundred guys eyed me and didn't talk to me. I admit it, I was hurt. I called Harmony. "Am I ugly?" I asked her.
Short, but still funny. It’s the insecure, crazy Harry we know and love.
Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle
A Tale Of Two Fairs
But today; today was exasperating. Isaac was lying flat out on the floor, doing something complicated with a pointy instrument, a grubby scrap of paper, and a map. Why couldn't he just use the table like a normal person? And he was getting in the way of Daniel's pacing. One, two, three, step over Isaac, five, turn, trip over Isaac (who'd inexplicably decided to move two feet to the left). Daniel suppressed a curse.
Um…I don’t know if anybody else I know reads these books at all, and I’m still only on the first one, but Daniel (Isaac Newton’s college roommate. Yeah, THAT one.) is one of my favourite narrators of all time. This is a really fascinating fic.
The Book Of Sin
"I'd hoped you'd be amenable," said Isaac, his frown fading to a beatific smile. Daniel smiled back. "I doubt," Isaac went on, "that there's a female within ten leagues of here who has the slightest notion of experimental method."
"I shall be happy to assist," said Daniel thinly. "Did you have any specific ... requirements in mind?" His anatomy was expressing requirements of its own, to do with heat and wetness and the touch of another's hand. He devoutly hoped that Isaac's experiment might encompass some of those requirements, in addition to whatever arcane and obtuse principles were being tested.
Depressing. Really depressing. Brutal and scientific and uncomfortable and with the exact, correct pitch of Isaac’s ethereal curiosity and Daniel’s tight longing.
The Office (US)
One If By Land, Two If By Sea
"Pam, that was, like, twenty years ago."
Her eyes went wide. "Oh god, it was." She shook her head. "Still. I know what I can beat you at."
"What?"
"Arm wrestling."
"What?" Eyebrow raised, Jim looked towards the camera. "Did you hear that?" The camera bobbed up and down. "You're on, Beesly."
The staff of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton, and their holidays. One little spark of hilarity after another, just like the best episodes.
All The Patient States
Toby shrugs. "It'll be a while before Michael signs them," he predicts. "We might as well go out for coffee or something."
Pam grins. "Yeah, and when we'd get back, he still wouldn't be done." Then she goes back to her game of solitaire.
It's a minute before Toby walks away, but she looks up and catches his wave.
Pam/Toby, the OTP of Actual Sanity!
Scrubs
My Holiday Musical
"Hey, Meredith," Dr. Cox popped out of nowhere, interrupting my thoughts. "I know McDreamy's, like, totally all that, but please note that if you impaled all the people waiting here on a pole you would in fact have a shish kebab the size of Texas. Now, you're welcome to try doing that, as it will certainly help dispose of them faster, but if you find yourself a little squeamish at the prospect of human-spearing I suggest you pick yourself a patient and treat them now."
Jkhdsdajkhasdb okay I think this ties with the KKBB one for funniest read. It’s exactly like an episode of the show, complete with plot and sentiment and flights of fantasy and all the supporting characters and…okay, I won’t mention how the intertextuality works because it’ll ruin the surprise, but it’s SO CLEVER and made me laugh for at least two minutes straight.
Torchwood
Interlude
"And now you've come back."
The Doctor shook his head, quickly. "No."
Jack almost laughed. "That's funny, Doc, because it looks like you're right here in front of me in your snappy suit, talking to me and looking at me like you've come to tell me you just killed my puppy."
Reunion fic that isn’t sappy at all. Mmmmm. Rough and fast and with a tiny glimmer of hope at the end.
Rubik’s
She wonders how long Suzie's boxes will sit, rotting, forgotten. She thinks of her own life in boxes: family, work, Torchwood, real life, Jack, Owen, Rhys. Plays games about what she would do if she ran away and how far she could get before they found her. She wonders if Suzie did that too, if that was what drove her over the edge. (Because it wasn't just the glove; it couldn't be just the glove: that's her mantra of choice when feeling as though she's teetering on a cliff.)
This is my favourite of the Torchwood fics, I think. It’s simple but it sees far and well, and it gives Gwen’s voice a depth and sympathy that I haven’t been able to find yet.
Deep With The First Dead Lies London’s Daughter
By the time "later" rolled around, after a week of concentrated recovery efforts to resecure all remaining Torchwood assets, the count of the living had risen to twenty-seven. The count of the dead had risen to four hundred sixty-seven Torchwood employees, and Rose Tyler had been put on a different list. Lisa's name had dropped from the top of the list to number one hundred eighty-eight, because Ianto had gotten ahold of a working laptop, input the entire list, and alphabetized it. It had seemed like the professional thing to do.
TITLE MERIT! Also: one of the rare fics featuring solely Jack and Ianto that doesn’t piss me off. I love Jack in this: raw, annoyed, devastated and intense.
Wire in the Blood
Demons
'All right. Listen,' she said, her hand turning the door knob, 'call me if you need...anything. No matter the time, yeah?'
He nodded gingerly, pleased that it caused only a dull ache instead of shooting pain. 'Thanks.'
She gave him a smile and left. He closed his eyes at the click of the door behind her and listened as her steps faded away down the staircase, and then he was alone with silence.
I would read pretty much anything written in this fandom because I am too intimidated by the awesomeness of the TV series to even try it myself, but this was well worth it: a great look at the early-early days of Tony and Carol’s relationship and the barriers that Tony starts to erect.
In The Blood
"Just your type, is he?" Tony leaned back and the lines around his eyes crinkled into the friendly smile Carol loved.
"Round, bald, small mouth, pinkish skin, sexual dysfunction. Yes, Tony, he's right up my alley."
"I see," he replied, scratching his head. "I've got a razor, thank God."
Uh, wow. I wasn’t sure about all of this: it reads kind of like the dark dirty thing one usually turns over in one’s mind without ever articulating it, but…in that, it’s kind of perfect for the tone of the book series.
(There are a couple I want to rec but can't do so properly because I know who wrote them, so I'll save those for when I talk about my own fics after the reveal.)
WRITTEN FOR ME:
Mirrormask
With Tremulous Cadence
He laughs, feet landing back where he'd began, where she'd stood a moment ago. Another pin. It's balls now, entirely, flying tiny spheres of color. There's one black one there and Helena shuts her eyes, catching without watching for just a second. When she opens them again, she knows they're her eyes. Not ink-black. But sometimes, she wants things for herself and wants to be able to not care if it hurts anyone else, and thinks that if she does it, the ink would spread across pupils and irises and she'd be someone different and less.
Helena/unValentine, juggling and talking. I love this one for what it says about Helena and her attempts to adjust after returning to the real world. Also it has the word ‘cadence’ in the title, which, HELLO, perfect.
Lucifer (comic)
Happy Families
He laughed, and she was almost startled by the sound, as she hadn't been courting it this time. It was kind of cool, though, that she made him laugh. "Even a day in a mortal form, and they would line up to kill me, little Yahweh."
"Call me Elaine. And so what? You die, and then you're you again. Besides. You'd be with me. You can teach me to play piano."
"You know how."
"Yeah, but I've never been taught." Elaine looked at him. "What good is saving the world if we don't have any fun in it?"
Lucifer and Elaine Belloc discuss designs, Michael, possibilities and mortality. It’s just amazing.
Howl’s Moving Castle (book)
Four Things Howl Never Told Sophie And One Thing He Did
Howl smiled at her back. "You do realize I'll never let you live this down," he said.
"You're older than I am," Sophie said, setting the brush aside, "and you've twice the silver I have."
"So I am," said Howl, "and so I do. But unlike you, I embrace artifice without reservation. Next week I think I'll be a redhead."
This is so beautifully, perfectly DWJ-esque that it makes me grin every time.
NOT WRITTEN FOR ME BUT ALSO AWESOME:
Anastasia
Dmitri in the Old Palace
He stood and dressed, then made his way to the rooms where the royal family had slept. There he spat on the floor at the foot of each bed but Anastasia's, whose room he did not enter, and when he had finished, he went to the servants's quarters and spat on the ground where the cook who beat him had slept.
Quiet, depressing and clever; a look at Dmitri’s growing-up.
Angels in America
Fall From a Star
Balancing on the balls of her feet, she knocks her heels together three times and chants "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home."
When she opens her eyes, nothing has changed, and the Munchkin is looking at her with an almost pitying expression. "That doesn't work when you're not wearing shoes," he informs her. Harper looks down and shuffles her stocking feet on the floorboards. "Look, it'll be faster if you just go," he says. "Complete the quest. Save the world. Get back to your life, such as it is." The dog barks in agreement.
HARPER! Someone wrote Harper backstory and it’s got exactly the right mixture of madness and sympathetic clarity. I love Harper. I love this.
Ballet Shoes
The Fossil Record
Pauline supposed that most people should be terrified to find ghosts in bed with them at night, but she was beginning to think that she wasn't like most people.
"The studio party was lovely," she murmured, rubbing the back of her head against her deep, soft feather pillow. "There were so very many film stars there, the terribly famous ones too!"
"And here our own Pauline among them," Posy said in admiration. She dug her fingers into Pauline's side to convey her pleasure. "Soon you shall be more famous than all of them!"
"You as well," Pauline said, and Posy complacently agreed, "Me as well."
The cleverness of this one kind of crept up on me. The tone is just right, and it made me long to read the book again.
Cabaret
Tomorrow Belongs
"I didn't think it was a uniquely German vice," Brian said, too lightly.
"No, perhaps not." Max's fingers moved across his hip, sharp and sure. "But there is - Sally."
Brian lifted his hips, impatient under Max's hands. "I don't want to talk about Sally."
Max smiled, "No? She is always so eager to talk about you."
I had no idea I wanted Cabaret fic until I read this, and my GOD, it’s fantastic. Brian after the fact, with a bit of Sally and a lot of Max and the war hanging over everyone’s heads.
Coupling (UK)
Best Laid Plans
"Jeff! How's Malaga? Women, sunbathing, drinks, women." Patrick picked up the telephone handset and grinned across the bar at Sally, a number five `I am definitely going to sleep with you, but don't bother cooking breakfast.' Damn, force of habit - Patrick downgraded his smile to a seventeen `Exes, relatives and other people I'm not going to have sex with'.
Jeff sounded worried. "I'm not in Malaga. I'm in Milton Keynes. I think."
"Are you sure?" Patrick asked.
"I am," said Jeff. "There are no palm trees and very little dance music."
I don’t think I could write Coupling, and so I have enormous amounts of respect for anyone who can. This gets everybody dead on, especially Patrick and Sally, who are my favourites. Love.
Fables (comic)
Scenes From Paris
"Oh my God!" was the first thing Rose said. "Why are you talking to me? Isn't Bigby there with you? What are you doing out of bed?"
"I don't know what you're trying to imply," Snow said.
"Oh, please," said Rose. "Don't even start."
Bigby and Snow. Honeymooning in Paris. It’s simple and sweet and has some lovely moments.
Grosse Pointe Blank
Martin Q. Blank, Session Six
"Okay. Fine. You don't want to talk about work, I don't want you to talk about work. I don't want to know, you don't want to tell me. Now, you tell me, Martin, how are we supposed to proceed with this relationship under these circumstances?"
Fucking Oatman and his impressive speech patterns and his stupid office layout.
"I don't see as how this is so cut and dried. A man is more than his job. Just because a guy works for a Buddy Burger, flipping single patties all day, that doesn't mean he is nothing more than a lump of non-animal byproduct sizzling in his own grease. I can be more than my job. Separate the man from the mission, Oatman. That's what I'm asking you to do so that we can get back on track. We need to get back on track with my road to recovery. That's what you told me when I started coming to you for sessions and that's what I want from you now."
I am still scraping my jaw off the floor at how good this was – it takes the pitch black humour of the film and removes all of the humour except for the sharpest parts. Brilliant.
Howl’s Moving Castle (book)
Once Upon A Time In Ingary
Sophie fixed him with an eyeball, the one that was better at intimidating looks than the other. Then she did the same thing to the pear. "And you," she scolded it, "I won't have any insubordination from you! You're a pear and tonight it's your fate to be eaten. If I were a pear, I wouldn't want to be seen all brown and blotchy... Although I've had liver spots, and you know, they're nothing to be ashamed of. You should be proud to look so wise and dignified, and you -- "
Howl's slender fingers grabbed onto hers. "If you insist on giving pep talks to every piece of fruit we eat, even vegetarianism won't be safe in this house."
"If you insist on gluing fruit to the table," she smiled back, "this house will have roaches."
This has a very clever premise, and an even cleverer resolution, and I adore the attention to detail and the fleshing-out of one of my favourite fictional romances.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The Case Of The Gay Detectives
Perry stopped and propped himself up on his elbows over my hips. He looked annoyed. "What the fuck? Are you narrating the blow job?"
"I'm into the moment."
"You need to shut the fuck up."
"It felt good!"
"Congratulations, you're the first guy in the history of the world ever to enjoy a blowjob. Please be sure to tell all your friends about it. Later," he insisted.
This is the funniest thing I have read all year, I swear to God. Just as good as the film.
Noir Enough
My current job description reads:
Answer telephones, make appointments, run errands, file papers, avoid all mention of Jonny Gossamer, don't pretend to take or work cases, and don't touch my guns.
Perry wrote that one night and left it taped to my desk with WHAT YOU DO IN CASE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID written on the top of it. He'd had a bad day. I don't hold it against him.
Also hilarious. I don’t know. I ran out of good words a while back. Just read it.
Day 378: And Now, Tomorrow
So Perry was an asshole and ruined the surprise, which is par for the course, but I forgave him the instant I opened the fridge and found, not one, but several bottles of champagne which I had definitely not bought, all of which were well past the upper-middle-class range. There were also some dessert thingies gfhhihaavgrij okay, sorry, that was Perry punching my shoulder. Apparently, the dessert thingies are called "petty four's fag-hag" m;fgkd;ghjkl excuse me, "petits fours, fag-hag". I'm not going to finish this story until he stops staring over my shoulder at the computer screen. No, Perry, I'm not full of shit. Yes, I do think it's pretty fucking funny to answer you by typing.
Threesome fic! YES! I love this person forever for not handwaving the Dream Girl out of the way to make room for the gay porn, and it’s funny and the voices are spot on and yes. This is my favoured version of events following the film itself.
The Case Of The Gay Shirt
The next scene starts with me going to the club in my gay shirt. I had a picture of the guy I was looking for, and my teeny tiny gay camera--look, Perry makes the same jokes about it as he does about the derringer, and he's my boss--and an expense form for the cover charge, which was fifty fucking dollars.
Then about a hundred guys eyed me and didn't talk to me. I admit it, I was hurt. I called Harmony. "Am I ugly?" I asked her.
Short, but still funny. It’s the insecure, crazy Harry we know and love.
Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle
A Tale Of Two Fairs
But today; today was exasperating. Isaac was lying flat out on the floor, doing something complicated with a pointy instrument, a grubby scrap of paper, and a map. Why couldn't he just use the table like a normal person? And he was getting in the way of Daniel's pacing. One, two, three, step over Isaac, five, turn, trip over Isaac (who'd inexplicably decided to move two feet to the left). Daniel suppressed a curse.
Um…I don’t know if anybody else I know reads these books at all, and I’m still only on the first one, but Daniel (Isaac Newton’s college roommate. Yeah, THAT one.) is one of my favourite narrators of all time. This is a really fascinating fic.
The Book Of Sin
"I'd hoped you'd be amenable," said Isaac, his frown fading to a beatific smile. Daniel smiled back. "I doubt," Isaac went on, "that there's a female within ten leagues of here who has the slightest notion of experimental method."
"I shall be happy to assist," said Daniel thinly. "Did you have any specific ... requirements in mind?" His anatomy was expressing requirements of its own, to do with heat and wetness and the touch of another's hand. He devoutly hoped that Isaac's experiment might encompass some of those requirements, in addition to whatever arcane and obtuse principles were being tested.
Depressing. Really depressing. Brutal and scientific and uncomfortable and with the exact, correct pitch of Isaac’s ethereal curiosity and Daniel’s tight longing.
The Office (US)
One If By Land, Two If By Sea
"Pam, that was, like, twenty years ago."
Her eyes went wide. "Oh god, it was." She shook her head. "Still. I know what I can beat you at."
"What?"
"Arm wrestling."
"What?" Eyebrow raised, Jim looked towards the camera. "Did you hear that?" The camera bobbed up and down. "You're on, Beesly."
The staff of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton, and their holidays. One little spark of hilarity after another, just like the best episodes.
All The Patient States
Toby shrugs. "It'll be a while before Michael signs them," he predicts. "We might as well go out for coffee or something."
Pam grins. "Yeah, and when we'd get back, he still wouldn't be done." Then she goes back to her game of solitaire.
It's a minute before Toby walks away, but she looks up and catches his wave.
Pam/Toby, the OTP of Actual Sanity!
Scrubs
My Holiday Musical
"Hey, Meredith," Dr. Cox popped out of nowhere, interrupting my thoughts. "I know McDreamy's, like, totally all that, but please note that if you impaled all the people waiting here on a pole you would in fact have a shish kebab the size of Texas. Now, you're welcome to try doing that, as it will certainly help dispose of them faster, but if you find yourself a little squeamish at the prospect of human-spearing I suggest you pick yourself a patient and treat them now."
Jkhdsdajkhasdb okay I think this ties with the KKBB one for funniest read. It’s exactly like an episode of the show, complete with plot and sentiment and flights of fantasy and all the supporting characters and…okay, I won’t mention how the intertextuality works because it’ll ruin the surprise, but it’s SO CLEVER and made me laugh for at least two minutes straight.
Torchwood
Interlude
"And now you've come back."
The Doctor shook his head, quickly. "No."
Jack almost laughed. "That's funny, Doc, because it looks like you're right here in front of me in your snappy suit, talking to me and looking at me like you've come to tell me you just killed my puppy."
Reunion fic that isn’t sappy at all. Mmmmm. Rough and fast and with a tiny glimmer of hope at the end.
Rubik’s
She wonders how long Suzie's boxes will sit, rotting, forgotten. She thinks of her own life in boxes: family, work, Torchwood, real life, Jack, Owen, Rhys. Plays games about what she would do if she ran away and how far she could get before they found her. She wonders if Suzie did that too, if that was what drove her over the edge. (Because it wasn't just the glove; it couldn't be just the glove: that's her mantra of choice when feeling as though she's teetering on a cliff.)
This is my favourite of the Torchwood fics, I think. It’s simple but it sees far and well, and it gives Gwen’s voice a depth and sympathy that I haven’t been able to find yet.
Deep With The First Dead Lies London’s Daughter
By the time "later" rolled around, after a week of concentrated recovery efforts to resecure all remaining Torchwood assets, the count of the living had risen to twenty-seven. The count of the dead had risen to four hundred sixty-seven Torchwood employees, and Rose Tyler had been put on a different list. Lisa's name had dropped from the top of the list to number one hundred eighty-eight, because Ianto had gotten ahold of a working laptop, input the entire list, and alphabetized it. It had seemed like the professional thing to do.
TITLE MERIT! Also: one of the rare fics featuring solely Jack and Ianto that doesn’t piss me off. I love Jack in this: raw, annoyed, devastated and intense.
Wire in the Blood
Demons
'All right. Listen,' she said, her hand turning the door knob, 'call me if you need...anything. No matter the time, yeah?'
He nodded gingerly, pleased that it caused only a dull ache instead of shooting pain. 'Thanks.'
She gave him a smile and left. He closed his eyes at the click of the door behind her and listened as her steps faded away down the staircase, and then he was alone with silence.
I would read pretty much anything written in this fandom because I am too intimidated by the awesomeness of the TV series to even try it myself, but this was well worth it: a great look at the early-early days of Tony and Carol’s relationship and the barriers that Tony starts to erect.
In The Blood
"Just your type, is he?" Tony leaned back and the lines around his eyes crinkled into the friendly smile Carol loved.
"Round, bald, small mouth, pinkish skin, sexual dysfunction. Yes, Tony, he's right up my alley."
"I see," he replied, scratching his head. "I've got a razor, thank God."
Uh, wow. I wasn’t sure about all of this: it reads kind of like the dark dirty thing one usually turns over in one’s mind without ever articulating it, but…in that, it’s kind of perfect for the tone of the book series.
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And I'm not even a third of the way through it yet.
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I AM SO HAPPY.
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