![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
"Black Oxen" - excerpt
(Excerpt from Fernando Sola's responses to Lydia Yahanova's questionnaire. October 1983. Translated from the Spanish by Walter Risk.)
Q: What is your worst memory?
A: Do you mean a "childhood" memory? Taoscal don't have a "childhood" in any Western sense. A person isn't rightly of the tribe, isn't Taoscal, until they understand the correct grammar of our language. Which is why every Taoscal child will now attend a preschool Language Nest. When you ask me about my childhood you are asking about a time when I was, according to my culture, something like cattle, or a pet. At seven, when I was able to give correct responses without hesitation to what we call the seven questions - how, what, why, where, which, who, when - I joined the tribe. The questions aren't asked in a particular order, but the order is always logical as to context, and often so everyday that the child doesn't realize the test is upon them till it is over. The questioner is formal, but the child under examination isn't rehearsed, so it's not like learning your catechism - though once the test is successfully completed it is like a first communion in that the child is thereafter a member, a communicant.
So, of my childhood I must say that I don't have a worst memory. I ran about naked and nothing was expected of me till I answered who I lived with and where I was going.
Q: Do you feel in any way to blame for this event?
A: This questionnaire is about as adaptable as a talking doll with a pull cord. And I suspect you've been briefed about the events of my early life, Señora Yahanova, and you are hoping to solicit my memories about the massacre of the village Sola. I am the village Sola; and the dead are silent. I am not responsible except to uphold the traditions of my people - which is quite some responsibility and I guess could open me up to all kinds of blame.
Q: Do you feel in control of your life?
A: No. None of us are. The best we can hope for is to be in reasonable control of ourselves.
Q: What do you believe controls you?
A: Chance, the traditions of my people, my own plans, my own irrepressible impatience with things.
Q: Are you superstitious?
A: Whose "superstition" am I to discuss?
Q: What makes you angry?
A: Many things, but especially the oppression and persecution of my people.
Q: Do you express your anger in violence?
A: Haven't you heard there's a war on?
Q: Have you ever used violence in a way that disturbs you? Describe.
A: Yes. Sometimes I'm a little too happy in my work.
Q: Have you ever struck anyone you are attracted to? Why?
A: Yes. Sometimes it gets results.
Q: Do you equate sex with power?
A: Yes.
Q: Do you equate sex with pain? With anger?
A: With anger, yes.
Q: Are you obsessed with your appearance?
A: No. I like my appearance. And my disappearance.
- from "Black Oxen", by Elizabeth Knox
no subject
no subject
Isn't it fantastic? I read that and immediately saw three things that you would like.
no subject
no subject
Must not get sucked into sueccubus. Must go and clean apartment. Argh.
no subject
It's occurred to me that, tomorrow, I will have to fight/not sleep to play with you . . . because tomorrow is Cramalot.
(I REFUSE TO SPEAK OF CRAMALOT UNTIL IT IS OVER.)
I get home from school at 4 (theoretically) and am due back at 5:45 (I live 20 minutes away . . . ) and the show starts at 7:00 and I have no idea when it will end.
no subject
no subject