fahye | *rubs eyes*

Jeannie: We never hear about you and Tez any more. Has anything gone wrong?

Chidder: After wanting Teppic for someting like half your life, you've now had him for half a year. How does the reality compare with the hopes and expectations? Also, how do you really, really feel about Ade? *evil grin*

Your angst angsts angstily. *is now feeling all woeful and angsty having read the thread*

Lucifer- how do you feel about each member of the OTO (individually and compared to each other)?

OOOOoooooh. *scoots right on over*

Lucifer: What do you think about while you're watching Hob sleep? And also, why did it take you so long to administer the smackdown to him?

Galahad: When did you first fall in love with Mordred?

Lucifer: What are your thoughts on cream puffs? And Taoism?

Ran out of sane questions. Sorry!

That depends, I guess. Sometimes he'll say something to get on my nerves and I'll wonder if it wasn't better to just be imagining after all. But...okay, this is how I'll put it - even when it's not how I thought it might be, it's better because it's real. Dreams are all very well, but nothing compares with reality.

Ade? Shit. Well. I like him, a lot. We have a lot in common and he's probably the easiest person to talk to that I know. And yeah, he's hot. If I wasn't in a relationship, I'd probably sleep with him in an instant. And it wouldn't ruin our friendship - I like that.

>>Dreams are all very well, but nothing compares with reality.<<

Nice way of saying it - I think I will quote that on occasion.

What is it that you have in common with Ade, what makes him so easy to talk to? You know, you as an assassin and a businessman who is definitely not a pirate, and him as a student at the UU, working th the HEM with Ponder Stibbons - on the outside, one would think you were very dissimilar.

Joe, I have never liked. He's selfish and manipulative in a way that is grating because he uses his humanity and his weakness to perpetuate it. He's improved somewhat since dying, but I don't have much interest in him as a person at all.

Billy appealed to me because he was refreshingly blunt, he wasn't hiding anything and he didn't really care about who I was. He was different. And I enjoy talking to him, hearing his views on the world, and I enjoy teasing him.

I can't give you one simple description for how I feel about Hob. It changes dramatically. He can be so stubborn, so pathetically unwilling to take any responsibility for the direction his life is heading, demanding, irritating and emotional. But he's amazingly resilient, and he looks at the world both as a human and an immortal. Not many beings can do that. He can carry on intelligent conversation, and his depth of knowledge and experience makes him more worth my time than most humans.

Though for all his intelligence, he can't fall in love sensibly.

<3

Thank you. ^^

Well, that depends, doesn't it? If you're assuming that I'm thinking about him... It's hard to be angry or annoyed or dismissive when he's asleep, because it's a simple waste of energy. It's the time when I tend to find the parts of him that are appealing - maybe because he isn't talking at me or sulking or anything like that.
You're going to make me say it, aren't you? He's lovely when he's asleep. He looks less like he's seen centuries and more like he only has a preciously short lifespan ahead of him.

We had an arrangement, which was based largely on the assumption that he would not overstep certain bounds. He overstepped them and my patience ran out. That is all there is to it.

*raises an eyebrow suggestively*

I am quite partial to cream puffs, though Taoism is a little bitter for my taste.

There was a day when I found out who he was, what he was doing to the series of pretty girls and boys going through his bed, how he treated them and what he demanded. That was when I knew that I could love him, that he wasn't just another scornful knight with an arrogance problem and no time for Lancelot's unwanted son.

And then I looked at him, with that knowledge, and I thought that he was beautiful. It was probably the worst moment of my life, because I knew how painful unrequited love can be and I had resigned myself to a lifetime of it in an instant.

Fahye: *is now thoroughly depressed*

It's not our situations, really. We both have a laidback attitude to life, we're prepared to sit back and let things work themselves out. And even if they don't, we just shrug and move on. We both have a similar attitude towards relationships - loyalty is essential if you're in one, but we have a propensity towards casual sex and being self-deprecating when we're unattached.

And why did you make that arrangement? You could have just broken him and sent him away, or kept him at a safe distance until the bond was cut.

That sounds very similar, indeed. And I quite understand why poor Teppic will always slightly suspect that friendship; one of the points, I guess, where he gets on your nerves.

Care to elaborate a bit what else gets on your nerves about Teppic, and what is good about being with him?

Ah, I see.

Are you glad that that love isn't unrequited?

You sound just like him, now. *glares suspiciously*

Really, you're making it sound like I don't enjoy having him near me at all. He's tough, but he's not unbreakable, and I could have shattered him if I wanted. But then I'd never have him back when I wanted him again.

The arrangement was a good one. I gave him the illusion of what he wanted, and he gave me himself. Sometimes I feel it was unwise to have given him even the slightest bit of encouragement, but on the whole I was pleased with the way things stood.

And an unrelated question: it would be a bad idea to pat you on the head, right?

Mostly it's his insecurity where Ade is concerned - he doesn't even make an effort to like Ade as a person, and it's almost insulting that he doesn't trust me enough to be faithful. And sometimes this protectiveness manifests itself in other ways, when he tries to be a part of every aspect of my life. It's endearing in a way, but sometimes it feels a little bit smothering.

What is good? Everything else. He's my best friend, he always has been, and I'm amazingly glad that we still have that. He understands my moods and my quirks.

I don't think 'glad' quite covers it.

But I'm still readjusting.

That is very understandable. Do you try to talk him out of it, or do you just accept it as part of how things are, which can't be changed, with your usual laid-back attitude.

Answering for him? Yeah, probably. Depends on the person. He might let Anthy or Meg get away with it.

I am surprised. And suddenly tempted.

...that could be rather interesting.

And bizarre. So it probably will happen.

Any more detail then that?

[I absolutely cannot be bothered posting as Chidder when Hotmail is screwing up its reply system so badly and I have to log in every time. Grr.]

Bit of both, I guess. I'd feel bad telling him to be less interested in my life, because it's only natural for him. It's a part of who he is.

Perhaps I do tend to get a bit snappish on the subject of Ade, but I don't like bringing up the topic any more because it usually leads to a disagreement.

Fahye: *cannot be bothered to log in again, bloody Hotmail, and is attempting to make Galahad be articulate*

Galahad: It's hard. I've spent so many years telling myself never to want anything more from him, and wanting it all the same. But now...it's magnifying the fear, if nothing else. I'm afraid that I'll wake up and he won't have said it. I'm afraid that he'll change his mind and work out that I'm not worth anything, and certainly not worth his love. I'm afraid that he'll leave me again, because it would be a thousand times worse now. I'm afraid of how much I need him.

[[OOC: Damn and blast Hotmail! They randomly eat mails from gmail, and now they screw up as well. Have you tried non-HTML notifies where you get a browser window for replies that lets you post as whoever you want? I use those because Eudora absolutely dies on HTML notifies.]]

Very logical - every relationship, even every friendship, develops that sort of fenced-in no-go areas where it's no use to continue the discussion, because everything that could be said has been said, and the people involved would only get upset.

rubs eyes

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