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badeedeedum, deedeedum...
I'm in such a DDR mood *bounces* I need that game. Badly. Hate lack of money. Hate mother's refusal to let me get game console. Want exercise that doesn't involve walking on the frigging hill.
Made chocolate muffins and watched my X DVD. Kotori is finally dead, thank god. Irritating little sop. No Karen *sulks* It did, however, contain Subaru/Kamui that was about as subtle as a sledgehammer. Hurrah.
...I want this bloody manga. The world conspires against me.
Am spending my days feeling slightly surreal about the fact that I'm back at school, having Jesse and David take over my mind whenever they can catch me daydreaming, singing absently and worrying about the fact that people around me are closed off and I don't know why. I'm trying so hard to keep angst out of my final year - came to some very nasty realisations about my emotional state the other night and physically refrained myself from posting them (the fact that that was my first instinct can't be good ^_^). But being stained by that of others is harder, in a way, because there's nothing you can do unless they let you.
Uh. Yeah. *steers away fron dangerous waters*
And while we're on that topic...
~
Which brings us to where you came in.
Had you forgotten? I won’t blame you. The pictures have been flashing past for quite a while. And just like I said, they weren’t all of me – hell, I doubt I was in half of the shots. It’s someone else’s story – and the person he loves, and the people that love them.
Not mine. Not really.
And I’m not going to regret it, not going to regret anything if I have a choice about the matter. Too young to die? I don't know if that's true, because living life like I do – did – Christ, I’m thinking in past tense – makes you old before your time anyway. If I had a second opportunity, though, I would have done it again. Not because I enjoyed it, because I’m not that good at lying to myself. But if I changed one thing, just one tiny step along the way, then maybe David wouldn’t have saved Tasha that night and I wouldn’t have been drawn into someone else’s fight by finding out at exactly the wrong time that love existed after all.
Maybe it would have worked out if my choices had been different. Maybe David and I would have met in a bookshop and dated like normal people. Maybe my life could have been heaven on earth.
But the simple truth is that it wasn’t, so I guess I'll just have to live with it. Die with it.
~
Credit for quite a bit of that goes to Shivvy, who listened to me tearing my hair out on MSN and then poked Jesse until he was lucid. Now all I need is an actual beginning. What have I got so far?
The brain thinks fast when you’re working on a deadline like imminent death.
Morbid? Moi?
Made chocolate muffins and watched my X DVD. Kotori is finally dead, thank god. Irritating little sop. No Karen *sulks* It did, however, contain Subaru/Kamui that was about as subtle as a sledgehammer. Hurrah.
...I want this bloody manga. The world conspires against me.
Am spending my days feeling slightly surreal about the fact that I'm back at school, having Jesse and David take over my mind whenever they can catch me daydreaming, singing absently and worrying about the fact that people around me are closed off and I don't know why. I'm trying so hard to keep angst out of my final year - came to some very nasty realisations about my emotional state the other night and physically refrained myself from posting them (the fact that that was my first instinct can't be good ^_^). But being stained by that of others is harder, in a way, because there's nothing you can do unless they let you.
Uh. Yeah. *steers away fron dangerous waters*
And while we're on that topic...
~
Which brings us to where you came in.
Had you forgotten? I won’t blame you. The pictures have been flashing past for quite a while. And just like I said, they weren’t all of me – hell, I doubt I was in half of the shots. It’s someone else’s story – and the person he loves, and the people that love them.
Not mine. Not really.
And I’m not going to regret it, not going to regret anything if I have a choice about the matter. Too young to die? I don't know if that's true, because living life like I do – did – Christ, I’m thinking in past tense – makes you old before your time anyway. If I had a second opportunity, though, I would have done it again. Not because I enjoyed it, because I’m not that good at lying to myself. But if I changed one thing, just one tiny step along the way, then maybe David wouldn’t have saved Tasha that night and I wouldn’t have been drawn into someone else’s fight by finding out at exactly the wrong time that love existed after all.
Maybe it would have worked out if my choices had been different. Maybe David and I would have met in a bookshop and dated like normal people. Maybe my life could have been heaven on earth.
But the simple truth is that it wasn’t, so I guess I'll just have to live with it. Die with it.
~
Credit for quite a bit of that goes to Shivvy, who listened to me tearing my hair out on MSN and then poked Jesse until he was lucid. Now all I need is an actual beginning. What have I got so far?
The brain thinks fast when you’re working on a deadline like imminent death.
Morbid? Moi?
no subject
Also: hooray for sitting in class thinking about our characters, and hooray for our first instinct any time something happens in our lives being posting about it! *waves banner*
Oh, by the way...